admin, Author at Mothering in the Middle

The Fall of My Reflection (A Nod to Rosh Hashanah)

by Cyma Shapiro

(Stepping through that “time of life”) The nature and rhythm of my life has changed. What used to be simply firecrackers and passion, fast movement and hard-fast determination, has become a slightly mellower shade of honey, and flows at that very same pour-speed.

What used to be denial of things/time of life/aging has now become sobering, hard-core reality that we must savor each and every day, and that each and every day really is someone else’s last.

What used to be dreaming and planning for something (what?) has given way to acknowledging the present moment… and accepting it.

And, that all the determination and precise planning we give to everything simply cannot belie the fact that someone/something has greater power than we do.

This year, I will breathe in acceptance of the fact that I do not know it all; maybe do not know most of it; and that all of that knowing doesn’t mean that circumstances might not change it all – in an instant.

I know now that all I know is that I am alive and breathing and trying my best… each and every day.

The Yin and Yang of Motherhood

by Serena Kirby

I was 43 when I finally became a mother and I’d definitely been looking through rose coloured glasses in regards to how I thought motherhood would be. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom and I would lay down my life for my child. But there were times in the early days of mothering when I asked myself, “What the heck have I done?”

I know now that I’m not alone in this, as many older mothers I spoke to while researching my book expressed surprise at the contradictory emotions that come with being a mom. […]

The Long Wave Goodbye

by Cyma Shapiro

Dear Reader: This is a rewrite of a previous post. Forgive my liberties in reprinting those few posts which resonate with me and provide a framework for all that follows. This pays homage to the start of school, the passing of time, and the recognition that having children changes it all.

Today, I waved to my daughter riding away on the bus. The silly kind of wave – two arms flailing, as if flagging down a passing ship. I was also jumping up and down. We both continued waving until the bus was out of sight.

Walking back to my house, I had a lump in my throat. I am sad. Sad for the absence of these experiences with my own mother; sad for the time which is passing so quickly; sad, too, that I see that my parenting must be working well – my own daughter still longs for me and keeps me in her sight. I did not have that with my own mother.

I will continue to try my hardest to fulfill that need, until her hands stop reaching for mine, the arm waves stop and I see her waving to her friends, not me. That time is coming. In fact, it’s just around the corner. […]

Taking a Deep Look At Ourselves

Melissa Lapides, MA MFT

In any healthy relationship there is a need to be consistently looking at what we, as individuals, are bringing into the relationship- both good and bad. Relationships need nurturing in order to grow and evolve. It is much like a plant. Without proper care, it cannot thrive. I tell clients all the time that relationships will not evolve without effort. It takes consistent, active participation. The relationship with our children is no exception. […]

Open Adoption: When What I Knew Was Wrong

by Lori Lavender Luz

Image courtesy of http://lavender.luz.com

When Roger and I embarked on the journey of adopting a baby several years ago, everything we “knew” about adoption was from decades past:

You waited on a long list until the agency matched you with a situation. Top of the list of criteria for the match? Your place in line.
You tried to make the building of your family as close to “normal” (read: biological) as possible. You didn’t talk much about the adoption, either inside or outside of the family, and you certainly didn’t have any contact with birth parents. The goal was to make it seamless, almost as if adoption were never part of the story. […]

Musings…

by Josie Iselin

The Chairlift

On the chairlift

amidst the peaks

the glorious sun and air

My friend and I agreed

we would not trade

those years with small kids

for anything

Our careers are stalled

earnings pitiful

retirement savings scary to contemplate

But our two girls banter next to us

in their round helmets and goggles

friends since the beginning

They own the hills with their confident and graceful bodies

lithe and masterful

thinking of me and my friend as weird parents

refusing to let me take their picture to put next to their two-year-old selves.

It was just so fun my friend reminds me

And it was.

They will carry this fun

these two

into their lives.

How could I be richer?

www.JosieIselin.com

Introverted Mother

by Denise Naus

Being an introvert and a mother of three seem to be at odds with each other. As an introvert, I tend to crave quiet and ALONE perhaps more than my extroverted human counterparts might. And yet my young children are constantly here…and there…and… everywhere!

This is my fantasy “happy place” in my mind: I am alone in the forest. Alone in the cabin – miles from any civilization. It’s only me and the woodland creatures. The songs of birds, the calls of the wolves, and the occasional growl of a bear. There is no internet. No telephone. But there are books (many books)! There is pen and paper. And God. […]

Why I Write: Explaining My New Life as a Midlife Mr. Mom-Writer

by Marc Parsont

The creator of MotheringintheMiddle.com thinks that as Mr. Mom (Mr. Stay-At-Home-Midlife-Mom), I’m also “EveryMan.”

Yes, I am a stay-at-home father, but frequently very comical in my attempts. I nearly burned the house down twice, once by cooking baby nipples down to a black tar with the second time gloriously wiped clean from my memory by six years of changing diapers, wiping tears from faces down to polishing poopy smeared backsides. Poop is close to writing in many cases or is frequently the end result. […]

One of Those Women? (In Honor of World Breastfeeding Week – 8/1 – 8/7)

by Ellie Stoneley

I’m old … a year away from 50 in fact. I’m a first time mother. I have an 18-month-old daughter. I drive along singing, “The Wheels on the Bus” even when she’s not in the car with me. I secretly love it when she wakes up needing me in the night, however tired I am. I am still breastfeeding her.

Right then, it would appear that, certainly according to much of the tabloid press, I’m practically the devil incarnate. A crazy breastfeeding, sagging old loon that a poor child has to put up with as a mother, a veritable harridan. Personally I don’t think I’m that bad. […]

Kids Keep You Young: The Myth

by Lori Shandle-Fox

You’ve always heard that kids keep you young. I want proof. Are there actual studies on this? I think not. I know that I’ve conducted my own studies and am here to report to you that it’s all a big myth. I admit, the core group I’ve focused on has consisted of a small informal gathering of neurotic people.

Case Study #1: My father-in-law. He has had neck and back issues for most of his adult life. To what does he attribute his cervical demise? One might guess the massive car accident that he had years ago that kept him in the hospital for months. According to him, that doesn’t even compare to teaching his children how to ride a bike. […]

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