Sleep is a hot topic in my world.
As a pediatrician, I spend a good part of my time talking to people about it; whether I am helping parents of newborns hang in there during those early sleep-deprived days, or talking to teenagers about why it’s so important to get as much shuteye as possible, whether it’s a well visit or a sick visit, the subject of sleep is usually lurking somewhere in the conversation about staying physically and emotionally healthy. The importance of good sleep is a constant across all age categories. The more you sleep the better. The less you sleep, the more likely you are to feel crummy, whether you are a sleep-deprived fussy infant or a cranky toddler who needs a nap, or an ornery, stressed adolescent who doesn’t get to bed early enough. If you are sleep deprived, whether you are a kid or a parent, you are more likely to be crabby. If you are sleep deprived, you are more vulnerable to illness. There are studies which back this up. The less you sleep, the lousier you feel, in general. And the more you sleep, the better you feel.
As a mother of young children, I spend a lot of energy figuring out how to get my kids to bed on time. As a working mom with a spouse who travels (periodically rendering me a single parent), as a mother who suddenly finds herself in the throes of extracurricular activities which sometimes don’t end until seven p.m., the issue of getting my kids enough sleep seems to be getting more complicated. The other evening, as I stood on the football field after work under the autumn moon, waiting for practice to be over in the dark (why these coaches don’t stop practice when the players can no longer see the ball or their feet is a mystery), I wondered how I would get my boys to bed on time. Even if the homework is finished and the dinner is ready to go when we touch down at home, it’s still a challenge to get it all done and get them to sleep early enough to get their recommended ten or eleven hours. As they get older, the sleep issue gets trickier.
As an “older mother” who is in the throes of peri-menopause, the issue of getting enough sleep for me is getting trickier, too. Sleep seems more elusive than it was a few years ago. And it’s clear that my body needs it. The harmonic convergence of middle age, relatively young children and my particular line of work doesn’t help. Whether I am up because I am on call answering parents’ questions about fever or coughs or whatever, whether I am up because one of my own kids is throwing up or has a bad dream, whether I am awake on some nights because of subtle hormonal shifts or because of the to-do list that is playing over and over in my head, it’s harder to recover from a night of lousy sleep these days. It takes longer to bounce back.
Most infants sleep about sixteen hours a day. Young children need about eleven hours a night. Adolescents should be getting at least eight to ten hours. And when we’re all grown up, we should be getting seven to nine hours. Most of us know this. Many of us don’t seem to be able to accomplish this. If we could only manage our time and our kids’ time and the noise in our heads just a little bit better, most of us would get a little closer to the goal of getting enough sleep. On-call nights and occasional bad dreams or throw-up bugs aside, I know that I could do a better job at this.
I’m looking forward to daylight saving this weekend. “Fall Behind” gives us all an extra hour to get a bit more shut-eye, even if for just one night. Maybe as we set our clocks back, we can remember to slow down a little bit. As the days grow shorter and our part of the world gets darker, a little hibernation may be good for all of us.