Image courtesy of Mr. Mom, the movie
Dear Reader: This is a recent Millenial Influx commentary on Mr. Mom(s) and our own Mr. Mom – Marc Parsont’s response –
“Is Mr. Mom home? If you’re asking this question today in 2013, you are more likely to hear a positive answer than you would have 10 years ago. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of stay-at-home dads has doubled over the past decade. Why the increase in stay-at-home dads? There are many speculations as to why the number is rising. A study done by Boston College found that although popular speculation may lead us to conclude that dads are staying home more because of the recession, it is actually found that the increase of dads at home may be due to evolving gender roles and choices that our society is making.”
http://www.millennialinflux.com/the-rise-of-mr-mom/
Here’s Marc’s commentary:
EveryMan, who writes under the pseudonym Marc Parsont, read and enjoyed the article “The Rise of Mr. Mom.” It’s especially heartwarming to hear that evolving gender roles touch so many young people in a positive way.
Because it focused on Millennials, mature parents didn’t seem to play a large part in this article. I wouldn’t have made it either way, young or mature. Supporting information, read as stats, reinforced my carefully conceived notion that math is one of the levels of Hell in Dante’s “Inferno.”
“Mom” did touch on the stigma we men often feel when trying to latch onto a woman’s group. In my mind, it was a little underplayed, but paranoia runs in my family. Just because I feel like every woman I walk by with a stroller stares at me like a Leper at a nudist colony doesn’t mean it’s true for other stay-at-home fathers.
Men of a certain age have enough wisdom to be flexible with either staying at home or working, but I’m not so sure that we’re not confused, and agreeable to hide our uncertainty about what to do sometimes. Many a time I thought a cold beer and fine cigar would help to relieve anxiety—not my anxiety – the kid’s anxiety. Stop crying. Buck up. It’s only a poop.
I agree that men and women both get frustrated by both pace of life and the conundrum of having to decide between children and work. Older parents aren’t immune to this syndrome, either, although we’ve inflicted some of this agony on ourselves. Kids have to go to camp, take part in play groups, and play sports. Even when we have time, we tend to slot the kids into our schedule instead of taking care of ourselves. We want the best for our kids, whether they like it or not.
Younger couples have a slight advantage in one way – lack of sleep doesn’t seem to change them into zombies. (Just you wait!) As for housework and cooking, we re-negotiated those roles ages ago. I do what she wants, she stays happy and I get ice cream.
The article – much like real life for us stay-at-home-dads – left me looking for closure and certainty that I know isn’t going to come…at least not very easily. Congratulations to the men who feel comfortable in any shoes they wear and good luck to the poor slobs like me who put one foot down after another and, in the end, just hope they don’t trip.