For some reason, being the eldest daughter in a Jewish family, I always thought I should marry a Jewish man. Well, I fell in love with the most wonderful man in the world who happens to be the son of a retired-Episcopal minister.
I grew up celebrating Easter and Passover, Christmas and Hanukkah, even though I’m Jewish. I knew my folks would be fine with me marrying Tom; they knew we loved each other very much and they knew we both had good heads on our shoulders. Our families welcomed our togetherness. To culminate our union, we had a beautifully blended dual ceremony with an Episcopal minister and a Jewish friend (ordained minister) performing our service.
Over the couple of years Tom and I dated, he went back to the church and found a lovely religious home at a church in Mar Vista; he attends as often as he can. Tom jokes that I’m Jew-ish, in that I don’t belong to a temple, nor am I a very religious person, however I’m deeply spiritual and believe in God.
The holidays are important to know and honor and, in our house, we celebrate them all. You’ll often see a menorah and a Christmas tree near our fireplace around the holidays with Christmas and Hanukkah decorations adorning our home. There’s temple for the High Holidays and church for Easter and Christmas.
Prior to adopting The Littlest E, we discussed how to raise him religiously. He’s growing up with both traditions. I say we have an “Episcopish” home, and we do. The Littlest E knows the stories of Hanukkah and Passover and what the High Holidays mean. He knows the story of the baby Jesus, why we celebrate Christmas and Easter. It’s not just the stories though. There’s obviously a lot of fun when Santa and the Easter Bunny visit.
And, the decorations! I love decorating our Christmas tree, hanging lights and adding touches of Hanukkah in our home over the holidays. We light the candles on the menorah and say the Hanukkah blessing, and hide the afikoman (matzo) at Passover. Throughout the year, we occasionally go to church as a family and The Littlest E comes with me to temple during the High Holidays. Celebrating the holidays of both religions works.
The Littlest E is from Ethiopia and that adds to the mix in our blended home. Like the Hebrew calendar, the Ethiopian calendar is different from our Western calendar. Ethiopian holidays fall on different days. For example, the Ethiopian New Year is on September 11th. Orthodox Ethiopians celebrate a holiday called Timket, which is a celebration of the baptism of Jesus, and is one of the major holidays in Ethiopia. This holiday takes place on January 20th.
Tom and I believe it’s important for our son to know his heritage and culture. There’s no replacement for not living in his country of origin, and we do our best to make sure he has a pride in Ethiopia and a pride in being Ethiopian born. Celebrating the Ethiopian holidays is now a part of our family tradition. We are fortunate to live in Los Angeles where thousands of ex-pat Ethiopians live, many of whom are welcoming to the adoptive community. Every year, around the second weekend in September, the Ethiopian community closes down a portion of Fairfax Avenue, known as Little Ethiopia, and has a festival celebrating the Ethiopian New Year.
Even before we adopted our son, Tom and I attended this festival. Our first year, we were onlookers. That year, I felt like a fly-on-the-wall of some private party. Now that our son has been home with us for four years, and this past festival was our fifth, it’s becoming more familiar and homier.
What was awesome this year, was The Littlest E, an avid soccer player, joined a group of older Ethiopian boys in playing a spontaneous game of street soccer. They were all a good six inches taller than our lively five-year old, but he kept up with them and even got the ball away once or twice. I’m having trouble expressing the words as I watched this. He was home and with his people, and he’s home with us; we’re his people – and it all works out beautifully.
We have a blended, all-inclusive, never exclusive, Episcopish house, and we celebrate Ethiopia. It’s our life, our home and our pleasure.
Melkam Addis Amet (Happy New Year in Amharic)
L’Shanah Tovah (Happy New Year in Hebrew)
Happy New Year to All!
© Melanie Elliott