admin, Author at Mothering in the Middle

The Midlife Biological Clock

by Jenilyn Gilbert

Dear Reader: Please meet our newest regular contributor, Jenilyn Gilbert – a fertility coach, certified yoga instructor, and adoption counselor.

As a fertility coach and someone personally trying to conceive in her 40’s, I have found that keeping an open mind and open heart around how your child comes to you can be quite the challenge when there are so many different ways to become a mother. Perhaps you’ve been trying naturally to conceive and you’re researching fertility doctors now, or you’ve done many IVF’s and the doctor is suggesting third party reproduction, or you’ve exhausted your biological efforts and are moving on to adoption. […]

The Storm Before The Calm

by Valerie Gillies

The body-unconscious is where life bubbles up in us. It is how we know that we are alive, alive to the depths of our souls and in touch somewhere with the vivid reaches of the cosmos. – D. H. Lawrence

I work with kids who have attachment and trauma issues. Big ones. And until a few weeks ago, I honestly didn’t know what they were feeling. Thanks to Hurricane Sandy, I have experienced more of an understanding. In my case, I call it menopausal anger disorder. (Maybe they will put that in the new DSMV to go along with shyness and some other ridiculous new psych diagnoses.) […]

Musings of a Midlife Mother

by Heather Rancourt

The occasional reminder of youth slipping away, our SKIN!

There are not enough lotions, creams, or remedies to keep up with the signs of drying. I’ve gone from a grape to a raisin. I’ve tried several products on the market; some feel like they’re working, some feel like a Darth Vadar mask; some are gooey; some have little tiny stones in them; some scare my children, but none of them seem to bring back the eternal glow.

So, I decided to home remedy this problem with oatmeal. On a health website I found, it said, “Adding instant oatmeal to your bath will soothe your skin.” I didn’t need to finish reading, I got it. Started the water in the bathtub, emptied 72 packets of my instant oatmeal into it, and proceeded to get in. All the while I was sitting in this goop, I imagined I would come out beautified. As time went on, things got heavy and thick and I could barely move my legs. I yelled for my husband; I started to panic. He came running in and yelled, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” As I tried to stand, I said, “Trying to make my skin not so dry! It’s a home remedy, help me get out!” He grabbed my hand, helped me stand up, and quietly said, “Did the remedy call for Oatmeal Brown Maple Sugar?”

Moral of the story: Keep reading – we do not know everything.

Heather Rancourt, 42, is a graduate of a boarding school for the performing arts in Washington, CT. She majored in communications at Arizona State University. Heather is the owner of Chasem2 Productions LLC, and the creator of […]

Thank God It’s Thanksgiving

by Suzanne Braun Levine

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite day of the year. The way I do it, it has all the advantages of a holiday with none of the oppressive side-effects. There are no presents, so there is no guilt or financial stress. The food is wonderful and comforting (with lots of leftovers). I can enjoy a jello mold or sweet potatoes with marshmallows without shame. The participants are so ill-assorted that there is no way it could be called a dinner party, so there is little worry about maintaining my cool. Moreover, there is no chance that anyone can mix up the date and ring the doorbell a day early. And somehow family is absorbed into the chaos and the calories in a way that tension is neutralized. The pleasure I feel as I gaze around the table is a far cry from the anxiety family life usually brings. Or used to. […]

Traditionally, I Never Liked Traditions…

by Maggie Lamond Simone

Dear Reader: Maggie would like you to know that while she wrote this a few years ago, and she is now 50, the situation is still the exact same…and her mother still cooks the turkey.

I’m not what you’d call Tradition Girl.

In fact, I don’t have very many holiday habits that would even be considered “traditions,” and I think it’s partly because I married and had kids late. There were many years in there spent with roommates, friends, dates, and by myself, and I’m probably single-handedly responsible for misplacing every tradition my parents might have once had. […]

Eight Preemptive Strikes for Peaceful Family Holidays

Susan Newman, Ph.D.

When I am trying to make sure the turkey doesn’t dry out or the potato casserole doesn’t burn, the last thing I want to hear is my daughters arguing about a ten-year-old slight or difference.

Whether you are the host or a guest, family holidays resurrect memories and emotions – both happy and troublesome. The added stress that comes with the holidays increases most everyone’s sensitivity. Your daughter announces she is spending the holiday with her in-laws; your brother claims the distance is too great to spend the holiday at your house. Divorced parents? With which one do you celebrate? Even if you worked out these details years ago, another issue will crop up to raise your hackles and test your mettle. Holidays touch a nerve and in the process your expectations can get squashed or dented. […]

Being Elegant

by Casey Kochmer

I am going to practice being elegant… I will start with my daughter Mina by focusing more on time to play and not being such a parent all the time. […]

Middle School Daughter Gives Midlife Mom a Beauty Makeover from the Inside Out

by Pamela Cytrynbaum

In a valiant effort to spruce me up, my daughter said it’s time for a field trip to the Holy Grail – where the worlds of middle school girls and their middle-aged mothers collide: The Mall

In a show of shockingly bad judgment, I unwittingly enlisted a few middle school girls to help me reinvent myself before the weekend when in theory I have accepted the first date I’ve been on in nearly two decades. I stand by my original contention that I am awesome as is. And yet, it is precisely because I am so awesome, so brave and open, that I have agreed to invite and withstand some rather withering tween criticism of my general comportment. […]

Question to Mothering Readers

Dear Readers: We received a shout-out, tonight, from a 44-year-old mom with two adult children and a grandchild. Steff asks MLM’s, “My boyfriend (53) wants a baby. I just need a little support to help me with my decision. Can you help?” (She is also seeking online chat or support group referrals.) Although I have many thoughts to share on this topic, I’d first love to hear you all weigh in on this.

While I have you, would you be interested in a more interactive Mothering blog site? Would you like the opportunity to chat with other mothers, either online or by Webinar-format? Please let us know. We’re here to serve you!

What Type of “Eyes” Do You See Your Child Through?

by Sheila Dinaburg-Azoff and Joan Reynolds

(Adopted from their new book, Parenting In Your Own Voice)

As a midlife parent, you’ve had a lot of life experiences that have shaped your perspectives. You’re far wiser than you were at twenty. Nevertheless, it’s sometimes a challenge for parents of any age to distinguish their own identity from their child’s identity. […]

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