admin, Author at Mothering in the Middle

Unearthing Diamonds at Midlife

by Lisa Garon Froman

Dear Reader: Please read author commentary and excerpts (in bold) from her new book, Tao Flashes.

For some reason, I’ve always been drawn to rocks. Maybe it’s my inner nerd, but I love the colors, the jagged edges, the imperfect lines, the untold stories and the history behind them. Even now as an adult, I collect rocks when I’m on vacation; I pluck them up from my path and save them as colorful mementos from my adventures. When I view them later, it’s like looking at a vacation photo. I am whisked back in time to the place, to the moment where I uncovered my piece of earth. And it brings me peace.

At midlife, I’m a lot more concerned about being peaceful than I was when I was younger. Caught up in the frantic day-to-day, gotta get it done–and get it done well–mode, I accepted a certain amount of chaos as the norm. As long as my son was happy, or safe, my happiness or peacefulness didn’t matter so much. […]

The PTSD of Adoptive Parents

by Michelle Eisler

Emotions are celebrated and repressed, analyzed and medicated, adored and ignored — but rarely, if ever, are they honored – Karla McLaren

I was driving to my doctor’s appointment when the morning radio host began talking about the second anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti. I had awakened that morning feeling fragile, and chalked it up to needing to adjust my hormones. I felt thankful that I was heading to the doctor.

But, suddenly, at the mention of the earthquake, I began crying, and found it hard to stop. Here I was seeing a collage of pictures and images I had seen on CNN during the weeks we felt helpless as we fought to bring my daughter home. Something I thought I had moved beyond was suddenly rearing its ugly head. […]

Dear Coffee, Oh Dear…

by Janet Madsen

Dear Coffee,

I have loved you for so many years, and yet I fear our days are numbered. When I started with you as a teen, it was instant; it was sweetened artificially and barely shaded with watery skim milk- teen love in a cup. You rocketed me through my twenties as I juggled two jobs and university. You were with me on first dates. When my kids were babies, a wee sip here and there perked me up for the necessary and endless tasks that went along with newbie parenting, then parenting of two. So why the potential break up?

Alas, I cannot bear you. That first sip in the morning is sublime- the cream, the brown sugar, the deep taste of possibility for the hours ahead. But my heart beats for you- a little too much. No make that, too, too much. […]

The Vacation

by Maggie Lamond Simone

The purpose of a vacation, they say, is to make us feel better. It is an opportunity to escape from real life for awhile, to pamper ourselves, to do things we ordinarily don’t do. It is meant to restore our mental health so that the usual daily routine isn’t so bad. That’s why we look forward to it each and every year. […]

On Failure, Forgiveness and Cutting Ourselves Some Slack

by Peg O'Neill, M.D.

Dear Reader: This is a reprint of a previous post.

We forgot about “Gotcha Day.” In the world of adoptive families, this is a significant faux-pas. “Gotcha Day” is the celebration of bringing a non-biologic child into the family. For us, it commemorates the day our family became whole; the day that my husband and I were given the gift of our precious child and entered the challenging world of raising multiple boys, with all the craziness, motion, joy and exhaustion.

For my older son, it was the day he became a sibling and began his journey as a big brother. For my adoptive son, though he was just six months old when he joined our family forever, it is akin to a birthday – a momentous event, a beginning, a symbol of who he is, at least in part. […]

Everyman Likes Stats…NOT!!! (A Commentary on the Commentary About Mr. Mom)

by Marc Parsont

Image courtesy of Mr. Mom, the movie

Dear Reader: This is a recent Millenial Influx commentary on Mr. Mom(s) and our own Mr. Mom – Marc Parsont’s response –

“Is Mr. Mom home? If you’re asking this question today in 2013, you are more likely to hear a positive answer than you would have 10 years ago. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of stay-at-home dads has doubled over the past decade. Why the increase in stay-at-home dads? There are many speculations as to why the number is rising. A study done by Boston College found that although popular speculation may lead us to conclude that dads are staying home more because of the recession, it is actually found that the increase of dads at home may be due to evolving gender roles and choices that our society is making.”

http://www.millennialinflux.com/the-rise-of-mr-mom/ […]

Summer Beauty of Mid-Life

by Lori Pelikan Strobel

The deck is a nice place to sit and drink in the view, as well as to drink a nice glass of wine. It gives me a bird’s eye view of everyone who is either in the cottage, on the lawn, in the water or on the dock. The air smells like summer; of suntan lotion and warm breezes. Ripples of diamonds sparkle on top of the water as the sun smiles down and I feel its heat.

From this spot I can only see a snippet of the lake, which entrances me. My family’s second home is here in the beautiful Berkshires. The brown Adirondack chairs sit on the lush lawn like sentinels guarding the treasure beyond. The trees sway lightly and I hear the birds chirp, lawnmowers whir, boats whizz, and my daughters inside still deciding which bathing suit to wear. […]

Daycare Director

by Andrea Lynn

I had the most disarmingly honest conversation with the director of Anna’s new preschool yesterday. Like all good preschools around here, there had been a long waiting list. I didn’t have a hope of getting in. But I lamented to a mom friend about my hopeless hunt for good childcare, and, God bless her, she leaned in and said “You know, I might be able to help.” There might be a spot, she said, at her daughter’s preschool, as she graduated to public school. Did I want her to put a word in? Oh yes, please. […]

Needing Our Mothers At Mid-Life

by Susan Paget

For those of you who are midlife moms to little kids, you might want to skip this blog because I’ve got another dose of reality to toss your way and I know you’ve already got enough on your plate.

If you’re still here, brace yourself.

There’s no expiration date to this “mom” thing. […]

Cyma Shapiro Interviews Liz Raptis Picco, Author of Stretch Marks

Dear Reader: I’m so pleased to present one of our own writers on the launch of her new book, Stretch Marks. Welcome Liz. I’m so happy to interview you and offer your story our readers. You are such a special person!

Q: Your book chronicles your nearly 20-year journey to motherhood – one littered with disappointing and painful experiences, repeated slammed-doors, and a litany of failed attempts at conceiving and adopting. Although you triumph in the end, the reader can’t help but feel helpless as they follow you along. I was so intensely struck by the sheer pain, grief, and loss you endured along the way. Can you talk more about your fervent desire and determination to become a mother?

A: Ironically, I hadn’t a desire to become a mother until my mid-thirties. After I’d married, then it was like lightening struck and everything else in life paled by comparison. It became a mission. I wanted into the inner circle along with my prolific mother, sisters, cousins, and friends. I’m also stubborn and hardheaded and when I want something, I go after it.

Q: The transparency and rawness of your (range of) emotions, while trying to achieve motherhood, will strike a chord with so many midlife mothers who themselves have hidden and unspoken experiences of defeat. What compelled you to write this book? Why were you so willing to expose yourself in this manner?

A: I wrote the book, thanks to my husband, who hounded me for years to tell my stories and would remind me I was a writer. I’d been so overwhelmed with two toddlers that cobwebs had shrouded my computer. When I finally […]

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