I think the dilemma started when my Physician’s Assistant (PA) of ten years left my MD’s office last month for another medical practice. Within a flash, all my years of personal coddling, instant communication (I was given her “inside” phone number) and very good health care were eradicated for this: I am now just another number, another cog in the wheel/larger scheme of things.  Right now, I feel very, very unimportant.

In the last month, I’ve had a similar experiences with my: Internet company, telephone company, cable company and cell phone company. In each case, I needed specific information, a special service or repair. In all cases, I had to call and call again, and then again; complain and complain and complain before my problem was solved/service was changed/bill was amended.  Before someone cared.

For those of us in our middle years, it wasn’t long ago that we vividly remember: being given a name and extension number for the individual we could count on (to be there in the future); had a family doctor/pediatrician/OBGYN/dentist whom we not only knew by name, but who we eagerly awaited our next visit and the delight of hearing ongoing family sagas – a welcome personal touch we would expect. For those of us seeking services, we knew our: electrician, repairman, auto mechanic, mailperson.

We came to know our computer-person, car salesperson, bank teller and people in the retail establishments we often frequented. We also knew most people in our house of worship, job, neighborhood, playground and public school, and we rejoiced in the annual ritual of exchanging holiday cards – further affirmation that we were secure in our community and very, very connected.  Now, I am lucky to see any of the same faces, in the same capacity. This past year, despite sending out my usual few hundred holiday cards, I received (back) the lowest response, ever.  Two weeks ago, I left a message for my son’s podiatrist.  Four phone calls to him later, he has still not connected with me.

Something has changed. I’m puzzled and alarmed. I also feel invisible.

All of this brings me to this infallible overriding truth: I’m not sure what kind of world my children will be inhabiting, in the future. And, while I’m certain that our parents and our grandparents said the same thing about us, they were more assured, all things being the same, that despite the newness of the next generation’s mores, technologies, ideologies and trends, some same-old same-old remained, well, the same!

I’m lost in this new world, and adrift in my uncertainty about how to reformulate it all and proceed.

Even more importantly, I’m dammed unhappy about where it all seems to be heading.

Any thoughts from any of you??