by Andrea Lynn
My Mother’s Day this year was a wonderful one. I had a dinner party playdate – three of my Single Mothers by Choice friends and their three children joined my girls and I for dinner and play, under the blue skies and leafy green canopy of my back deck. There is nothing like spending this particular day among women who almost didn’t get to be mothers to make it all the more special. […]
by Andrea Lynn
My daughter has become fascinated by health – good and bad – since she turned 4. Four is a year for discussions about death and sex, I’ve been warned by friends. It’s been true, so far, but far more interesting than either is health – what is good for us, what is bad for us. Her fascination with exercise, healthy eating and the horrors of smoking, among other things, is fodder for daily discussion. And while I’m all for healthy discussion about nearly anything, the talk of health hits me just as I’m occasionally starting to feel old. Or not old, exactly, but a little tired. […]
by Andrea Lynn
Ah, February. The month of love. Spare me. Always my least favourite holiday, Valentine’s Day, edging out New Year’s Day by a whisker. Both holidays of forced expression of love, or joy, both awkward for the singletons at the party or restaurant, surrounded by the coupled. […]
The year is coming to an end and I would absolutely love to wrap up my journey toward the adoption of a child up in a pretty package, waiting under the Christmas tree. Unfortunately, life is not that simple. Or maybe it is, I just am not in that flow…. […]
by Andrea Lynn
I know I’m not supposed to embrace the “more gifts” approach to Christmas. But all I want for Christmas this year is more toys for my kids. I do. I covet all sorts of shiny and colorful things that I know they will love. My budget is tight, and I am trying to be financially responsible, but I see things other kids have and I want my kids to have that too. It is absolutely politically, morally, ethically corrupt to admit that, at this time of year especially, but I am fearless. I want more toys for my kids. […]
I attended a class on “how to become a foster and or adoptive parent” this past weekend. The class consisted of me and five couples. Three of the couples said were unable to have children and are considering adoption; two have grown children and want to foster or adopt. As the only single person there, I felt like a freak. But by the end of the first Friday night session, that feeling had subsided. We were all there for one thing only: to have a family. […]
I have my foster parenting classes this weekend. I do not want to talk about my fear. I do not want to make those feelings bigger and more real by giving them life and breath. Yes, they are there. […]
I swear it took a full ten days, if not more, for the social service agency to call me. I was starting to think they would not call, but they did, or rather, she did. The foster-parent recruiter or something like that left me a message. I waited one full day (gulp) before I called her back. It was Friday. I was calling her cell phone number, but she was not working. She was, however, in the shower. This was not going well, I fretted.
by Andrea Lynn
I’ve done it. I’ve put the baby gear up for sale. The Bjorn. The exersaucer. The infant carseat and the bumbo chair. Taken photos, written reassuringly about a pet-free and smoke-free home, and hit “post ad.” The pile of gear, cleaned up for the photo op, now sits in the middle of the dining room awaiting eager buyers, ignored by the 3 year old and used only as a hand-hold by the baby, who toddles by haltingly on the way to her next task, oblivious to the detritus of her infancy. […]
by Andrea Lynn
It finally happened. Claire, 3, got the daddy question. As in, “Why don’t you have a daddy?” Though, to be completely accurate, the 4-year-old friend who was over for a playdate phrased it less aggressively, as: “I have a mommy and a daddy.” Pause. Wait for response. I was in the kitchen with my daughter and her curious friend, who we know quite well. Without appearing interested in their conversation, I was waiting for Claire’s response as well. And it was a good one. “I have a mommy,” she said, quite simply. The friend tried again. “I have both. You don’t have a daddy.” Claire thought about this. “I have a sister,” she replied. Score! A perfect response. I was so proud. […]