Susan Newman Archives - Mothering in the Middle

Eight Preemptive Strikes for Peaceful Family Holidays

Susan Newman, Ph.D.

When I am trying to make sure the turkey doesn’t dry out or the potato casserole doesn’t burn, the last thing I want to hear is my daughters arguing about a ten-year-old slight or difference.

Whether you are the host or a guest, family holidays resurrect memories and emotions – both happy and troublesome. The added stress that comes with the holidays increases most everyone’s sensitivity. Your daughter announces she is spending the holiday with her in-laws; your brother claims the distance is too great to spend the holiday at your house. Divorced parents? With which one do you celebrate? Even if you worked out these details years ago, another issue will crop up to raise your hackles and test your mettle. Holidays touch a nerve and in the process your expectations can get squashed or dented. […]

Why Have Kids?

by Susan Newman

Get ready to have your fantasies, beliefs, and perhaps your reality of motherhood challenged. Someone had to do it and Jessica Valenti, author of Why Have Kids? A New Mom Explores the Truth about Parenting and Happiness has taken on society’s glorification of parenthood. […]

How Important are Age and Energy in Parenting

by Susan Newman, Ph.D.

“She’s an older mother!” The obstetrician bellowed to the attending staff and everyone else in earshot as I was rolled in the operating room to deliver my son.

“Do you have to announce that to the entire hospital?” I cringed.

Even as more women wait until their mid-thirties and early forties to become parents, most physicians consider them to be of “advanced maternal age” and high risk simply because they’re older. In one way, the extra attention paid to each advanced maternal aged patient is reassuring. […]

Stretching the Start of Motherhood

by Susan Newman

“This is a good article about why, in terms of fertility, it is not a wise idea to wait,” wrote a commenter in response to The Ideal Age to Have a Baby. However, a new study shows that the likelihood of having a baby after 40 is quite good.

Yes, you can reverse your biological clock. For so many reasons, we all can’t—and don’t—have our babies in our 20s and early 30s. In response to my post, 40 is the New 20 for Having Babies, here is one of several similar comments that explain why many of us come to motherhood later: “I think everyone’s situation is unique. I think if I had a time machine and could have met my husband when I was in my mid to late 20’s, we would have had 2-3 children by the time I was 35. But life doesn’t work that way. I am so blessed to have our son and, yes, even at 41, we are considering another child probably also requiring IVF.” […]