M.D. Archives - Page 2 of 2 - Mothering in the Middle

On Failure, Forgiveness and Cutting Ourselves Some Slack

by Peg O'Neill, M.D.

We forgot about “Gotcha Day.” In the world of adoptive families, this is a significant faux-pas. “Gotcha Day” is the celebration of bringing a non-biologic child into the family. For us, it commemorates the day our family became whole; the day that my husband and I were given the gift of our precious child and entered the challenging world of raising multiple boys, with all the craziness, motion, joy and exhaustion. For my older son, it was the day he became a sibling and began his journey as a big brother. For my adoptive son, though he was just six months old when he joined our family forever, it is akin to a birthday – a momentous event, a beginning, a symbol of who he is, at least in part. Over the past six years, we have commemorated “Gotcha Day” with story-telling about how we prayed for him to become part of our family, how we came to know him, and the details of how he joined our family, including how good he was on the plane coming back from Guatemala. We look at pictures, ooh and aah over how cute and funny he was. We go out to dinner at his favorite restaurant, a mediocre pasta joint near our house. […]

Paying It Forward

by Peg O'Neill

Motherhood costs us. There’s no question about it. Parenthood requires sacrifice – not only financial, but also physical, emotional and in many other realms. For “older” mothers, this may be particularly true. The harmonic convergence of mid-life and raising young children creates numerous opportunities for growth, but also many challenges. Of course, most of us would agree that whatever the price, our kids are worth it. Whatever we pay in terms of lost sleep, delayed retirement, worry over aging parents while still raising our own families, and other costs, our lives are enriched in countless, priceless ways by our children. […]

Just A Number

by Peg O'Neill, M.D.

They say that age is just a number, but I’m not so sure. Try telling this to my 10 year old son, or his five year old (excuse me, five and a HALF) year old brother. Or to the almost sixteen year old in my office the other day who was counting the hours until her birthday, when she could get her learner’s permit. When you are young, getting older is a good thing. Your age determines whether you are “big enough” to get certain privileges, like biking to school on your own, or being able to drive, or staying up late to watch the Red Sox game. You have to be old enough. The older you are, the more you get to do. The older you are, the more you are in charge. Old is cool, when you’re young. […]