admin, Author at Mothering in the Middle

Cyma Shapiro Interviews the Authors of The Mother’s Wisdom Deck

Q: Good Day, Niki. Thanks much for our time together. As a creator of Mothering with Soul, you have a unique, purposeful message. Tell me a little more about yourself, your collaborators, and your combined mission.

A: Thanks for having us, Cyma. It is an honor to connect with other midlife moms. As I was sharing with you, The Mother’s Wisdom Deck and Mothering with Soul largely grew out of our desire to marry our pre-motherhood life experiences and spiritual growth with the path of motherhood. Co-author Elizabeth Marglin (44), illustrator Jenny Kostecki-Shaw (38) and I (40) have each spent a lot of time traveling, studying with wisdom teachers around the globe, and contributing to the world as professional women.

Speaking for myself, I was totally unprepared for the changes that motherhood would bring. When I became pregnant, I was in the midst of a project to document the wisdom of indigenous elder women and thought that I would be able to continue my work with a baby on my back. My son had other plans. I can laugh now at my naïveté, but moreover I am grateful for how motherhood has enriched my life in ways that I never could have planned. Motherhood is about surrendering to something greater than myself and seeing what wants to unfold. The Mother’s Wisdom Deck supports that process of letting go and tuning in. […]

All You Need Is Love (In Honor of Gay Pride Month)

by Maggie Lamond Simone

All you need is love. That song’s been in my head lately as we enter yet another wedding season, at once the most-loved and most-hated season of the year … depending how you feel about love at the moment. I’ve decided to embrace it this year, because I’ve seen – and continue to see – what love can do.

Twenty-five years ago, at the height of the AIDS crisis, my uncle was succumbing to the virus. We didn’t know he was gay, and we didn’t know he was HIV-positive until he became ill. That was the way in many homes back then; if it was talked about at all, it was in hushed tones, and certainly not in front of the children. […]

How to Create Special Family Vacations

Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

“Summertime and the living is easy” – so said George and Ira Gershwin. There’s just something about the warm sun, blue skies and late evenings that makes us want to ease up, have a change of scenery and leave our day-to-day work world behind. […]

Mush Brain Ramblings (A Commentary on New Older Motherhood)

by Ellie Stoneley

The whole issue of my age as a mother has never really bothered me. It is a miracle that I have Hope in my world and that both of us are healthy, happy and having such a wonderful time getting to know each other.

I don’t think of myself as an ‘old mother,’ simply as a mother. And, as such, I strive to be the best mother I can be. Nothing more complex – just doing my best for an amazing little girl and doing all I can to ensure that she has a secure and happy life. I think that’s as much as any mother can do and generally what most mothers – old, young or in-between aim for. […]

Old = Dirty? (A Commentary on the UK’s First Response Campaign)

by Elizabeth Gregory

Dear Reader: This commentary is in response to a new ad campaign in Britain sponsored by the pregnancy testing company First Response, which warns young women that their childbearing years are numbered. You can find related articles on midlifemothers/facebook.

One of the nice things about being an older mom is the friendly comments you get: just this morning a 29-year old I’d just met remarked apropos of nothing in particular that I didn’t look 55. She hoped she’d look like me when she was my age!

Maybe she was lying, but she had no particular reason to. More likely she was just telling me that I looked a lot better than she’d expected for the elderly mother of an 8 year old. It’s not hard to succeed in that territory. Who am I to turn down a compliment? […]

Old Enough for Gratitude

by Andrea Lynn

My mother just dodged a cancer scare. My uncle is in the middle of one. My brother is having heart problems, and on Sunday I rushed my 2-year-old into the ER with an allergic reaction, that, thank God, resolved itself in a few hours without much medical intervention. So far, fingers crossed, everyone is fine. But it is that time of life when I’m feeling like we’re living on very shaky foundations, and no one should be taking anything for granted. […]

Teaching Our Children to Remember: Memorial Day

by Jane Samuel

This morning I stood at my kitchen sink washing dishes and planning out our Memorial Day as the morning news droned on in the background. I suspect our daily agenda looked like many other mid-American households: yard work, house work, work work, pool-time and barbeque time. Our children’s day would also include my husband’s annual instruction in honor and patriotism. He is his father’s son, and this year for the reasons I share here I am even more proud of that.

Each year he pulls out the newspaper, checks the time of the service at the Lexington Cemetery and corrals our daughters off to witness the true meaning of Memorial Day. Depending on the hour of the service, the heat index, and the level of grumpiness there is often a dispute about which children must attend. The younger one – unless she has already donned her swimming attire for the day – is willing to go along for the ride. The older ones are – par for the course – a different story. There are time worn comments about it being “their summer vacation” or it being “too hot.” Each year I push my husband to take them all. Yes, I believe in his lesson to them and usually reflect briefly on its importance. But mainly, I just want some peace and quiet for a few hours. That is until this year. […]

Late Bloomers

by Jenilyn Gilbert

Seems I live in the most fertile house in history. Everything about this house is fertile and that’s partly why this house was so appealing to buy. Eight children and two parents lived here before we bought it last summer. Later I learned that the mother was expecting her ninth baby.

The neighbors joke, “Don’t drink the water in that house!” I was drinking water by the gallons, are you kidding me? Although normally I’m pretty conscious of drinking only filtered water, I started drinking straight from the tap as well as offering it to all of my fertility clients. […]

Parenting Colour-Blind

by Michelle Eisler

Illustration courtesy
of Jodi Queenan

I prayed for the woman in Haiti who would be the mother of the child we would be adopting. I felt in my heart it would be a little girl. The required adoption course seemed like a mundane step on the journey to getting “her,” but it was necessary, so I travelled three hours to be there.

I sat at the “Adoption Education” course with a group of other adoptive parents, everyone ready to learn our government-mandated course material. When the course came to the “Transracial Parenting” selection we leaned into it; this was our part. This was also the most controversial part of the course. The bulk of the parents were adopting from a different culture and many had some definitive ideas about “why it would be ok.” Obviously, most of us didn’t see colour – that’s why we weren’t shy in pursuing international adoption. […]

Midlife Mothers, Teenage Daughters, and Prenatal Care

by Stephanie Tillman (a.k.a. the Feminist Midwife)

As a healthcare provider, my work is to listen to the unique experiences of people throughout their lives. My favorite visits lately have been witnessing teenage daughters attend the prenatal visits of their midlife mothers. I have spent some time trying to figure out what makes this experience so special for myself and for the other women in the room, and I share a bit of that thought process here.

I am a midwife, serving women in an inner city. Many of my patients are non-English speaking, birthing in a new country and living at a crossroads between teaching family tradition and learning new approaches as their children grow. […]

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