My first child did not arrive until I was close to my 38th birthday, so I spent years thinking Mother’s Day was someone else’s holiday. I never imagined I would have children – it was a day where I just showed love to the Moms in my life, but it was never about me.
Then I had kids.
When they were little, my husband would help, but it still wasn’t about me because babies are needy little creatures, especially when they are nursing. Eventually, I could get my kids to do projects with me on Mother’s Day. (My husband cooks and I get the kids to help me plant a garden or do other household chores which will give us time together.) My Mother’s Day is usually nice.
For some women, Mother’s Day is agony. I personally watched friends suffer through the holiday after losing a parent, struggling with infertility, or having had a complicated relationship with their own mother.I also know many women who are either childfree by choice, or by circumstance. On Mother’s Day, one by one, they wished me a wonderful day. It got me thinking: Why should these women not be honored because they never birthed a child? Many of them are the most nurturing people I have ever met; others are kind, or a true inspiration.
Why should their lack of offspring keep them from being honored?
For the last few years, I make sure to take time on Mother’s Day weekend to thank the women who have influenced me. Usually it is a short message on social media thanking them for changing my world. I send them the love they should be receiving on a day when all women should be honored, not just women who chose to parent.
I think that the world is evolving, and so should Mother’s Day. Not just mother’s nurture, not just women with children change the world of a young person, and not just women raise kids.
This year, I want to ask you to take time to thank someone who is not a mother for their time, kindness, nurturing, or the inspiration they have provided you with this year. I promise your heart will be bigger for doing this.
I rarely get through thanking these amazing women without crying tears of gratitude.