Project Bond Archives - Mothering in the Middle

When Kids Sabotage Themselves

by Barbara DiGangi

Sabotage – [sab–uh-tahzh, sab-uh–tahzh] /ˈsæb əˌtɑʒ, ˌsæb əˈtɑʒ/

noun: 1. any underhand interference with production, work, etc., in a plant, factory, etc., as by enemy agents during wartime or by employees during a trade dispute. 2. any undermining of a cause. verb (used with object), sabotaged, sabotaging. 3. to injure or attack by sabotage.

Have you ever been so close to a goal with your child only to be disappointed?

What about finding that new toy or electronic completely broken hours or days later? A privilege at home or school taken away?

You may be finding yourself thinking – is this a joke? Why does everything seem to result in FAILURE?! […]

Why is There No Reaction (From My Child)?

by Barbara DiGangi, LMSW

Whether you’re having a sit-down with your kiddo after something went awry or his teacher told you he’s being bullied in school, you may be wondering several things.

Why doesn’t he seem upset? Why didn’t he come to me if he was upset?

Does this not matter to him? Why is he laughing when we talk about this? Why has he been so difficult lately? […]

It Must Be Me (Living With Parental Self-Doubt)

by Meredith Silversmith

Do you ever feel like it shouldn’t be this hard? Like it’s not normal to face the challenges, aggression, opposition, and tears every day?

Do you sometimes feel like it must be you?

There are reasons for this.

Our kids’ behavior is very personal. Their actions don’t happen lightheartedly or in an attempt to achieve a particular, short-term outcome. Intense emotions, often from past experiences, are driving their more challenging behaviors. We sense this intensity, especially when it’s directed at us. Sometimes, the anger, shame, or sadness is projected onto you – the parent, the closest person to them, the safety net. […]

Who Teaches Us How to Love? Mom

by Barbara DiGangi

When I was a child, I remember my mother getting on the floor and playing Barbies with my sister and me. I admired the way she colored in coloring books – outlining the drawing and lightly coloring the inside. I appreciated how she comforted me (and got angry in my defense) numerous times when I came home from elementary school, crying after being bullied.

I miss the way she rubbed my head as I laid on her lap, how she braided my hair at night and how small I felt when she gave me a big bear hug.

As humans, none of us are perfect but there’s something about mothers. As little kids, we fall in love with our mothers – they are our superwomen. There’s an element of our mothers that will always feel just right – perfect – for us. It resides at our core. […]

Don’t Go it Alone (The Creation of Project Bond – For Adoptive Families)

by Barbara DiGangi and Meredith Silversmith

If your child has challenging behavior, where do you turn? Typically, we look to professionals at school or in the community. You might start with an evaluation, enroll your child in a program, or even qualify for in-home services, depending upon where you live.

But, what happens when the professionals don’t help? When they think they know what to do, but are actually making things worse? What if what works for some kids doesn’t work for yours?

That’s what Barbara and I asked ourselves. Every day. For four years. […]