older mothers Archives - Mothering in the Middle

Redefining Beauty and Brains (as a Middle-Aged Hippie)

by Beverley Golden

When I was much younger people saw me as being so beautiful or so smart. Some who knew me very well, actually saw both. I strove at all costs to have my intellect be recognized as my principle asset and, heaven forbid, someone would relate to me as “just another pretty face.”

To some degree that worked. I left high school early and went to play with a large group of boys at university, who were all eager to make their mark in the big bad world of business. On graduation, I was awarded the gold medal as the outstanding graduate from a class of 400 business students. Not bad considering only ten of us were women. […]

Old = Dirty? (A Commentary on the UK’s First Response Campaign)

by Elizabeth Gregory

Dear Reader: This commentary is in response to a new ad campaign in Britain sponsored by the pregnancy testing company First Response, which warns young women that their childbearing years are numbered. You can find related articles on midlifemothers/facebook.

One of the nice things about being an older mom is the friendly comments you get: just this morning a 29-year old I’d just met remarked apropos of nothing in particular that I didn’t look 55. She hoped she’d look like me when she was my age!

Maybe she was lying, but she had no particular reason to. More likely she was just telling me that I looked a lot better than she’d expected for the elderly mother of an 8 year old. It’s not hard to succeed in that territory. Who am I to turn down a compliment? […]

Mom On Demand

by Lori Pelikan Strobel

I am standing at my new desk, a desk that can be raised to a standing height or lowered to a sitting height. I love it! The room that this desk stands in is my office. It has been in a bit of transformation lately; just like my life. The walls are painted the softest of green. A small but dazzling crystal chandelier light hangs from the center of the room. It is pleasant here alone with my own thoughts.

Suddenly I hear the garage door open and footsteps. “Mom, I’m home!” yells my daughter from the kitchen as she loudly drops her book bag, coat and whatnot that I envision in a trail on the floor. My peacefulness is broken by her voice and I am suddenly transported back ten years ago when she would come home from school with the same declaration. Although times have changed, things have a way of staying the same. I am still here whether or not she is. […]

Moms: What’s Age Got to Do with It? (Found In…South Asian Parent)

by Dhara Thakar Meghani

Word on the street (and on the web¹, in doctor’s offices, and generally everywhere) is that there is a high chance for pregnancy complications, miscarriage, genetic disorders, and health risks for women who have babies in their mid-thirties and beyond.

On many medical charts, women over 35 have been referred to as “elderly,” “old,” and certainly, “high risk².” The message about the risks of pregnancy after 35 is so strong in fact, that the anxiety it creates could make any woman approaching that age balk at the idea of ever having a baby at all. […]

Stretching the Start of Motherhood

by Susan Newman

“This is a good article about why, in terms of fertility, it is not a wise idea to wait,” wrote a commenter in response to The Ideal Age to Have a Baby. However, a new study shows that the likelihood of having a baby after 40 is quite good.

Yes, you can reverse your biological clock. For so many reasons, we all can’t—and don’t—have our babies in our 20s and early 30s. In response to my post, 40 is the New 20 for Having Babies, here is one of several similar comments that explain why many of us come to motherhood later: “I think everyone’s situation is unique. I think if I had a time machine and could have met my husband when I was in my mid to late 20’s, we would have had 2-3 children by the time I was 35. But life doesn’t work that way. I am so blessed to have our son and, yes, even at 41, we are considering another child probably also requiring IVF.” […]

Don’t Call Me Grandma!

by Linda K. Wertheimer

“Click, clack,” I read, then paused. “Moo,” Simon shouted as he cuddled in my lap in a chair at Starbucks.
A man walked up and smiled. “Your grandson is so adorable,” he said.

I resisted the urge to glower. This man after all was paying Simon a compliment. I smiled back, then corrected the error as my 3-year-old son sucked his thumb and held onto my ear. “He’s not my grandson. I’m his mother.” […]

In Praise of Older Mothers

by Rabbi Stephen Fuchs

The fifth of the seven traditional blessings recited at a Jewish wedding proclaims: “May the (Akarah) barren woman rejoice with happiness in the company of her children.” The blessing is an acknowledgement and an affirmation of the recurring theme in the Hebrew Bible of the woman beyond normal child bearing age who has children. While the term Akarah means “barren woman,” it is used exclusively – and in no fewer than seven cases – in the Hebrew Bible to refer to a woman who has children well beyond the normal child bearing age. […]