new older parents Archives - Mothering in the Middle

Mother’s Day Flowers

by Tracy Franz

It is May 8, 2010,* the day before Mother’s Day, and I am in Takamori, Japan, with my one-year-old son’s hand in mine, carefully climbing the stone steps to the gate of my husband’s teacher’s temple.

We are here to celebrate Hanamatsuri, or the “Festival of Flowers”—otherwise known as the Buddha’s Birthday.

As we enter the garden, I see that the sliding doors encircling the main building are open to fresh countryside air. A number of families have already settled on their cushions around a statue of the baby Buddha standing beneath a flower-covered canopy.

Soon, the children will be invited to pour sweet tea brewed from the leaves of hydrangea over the likeness, bathing it as tenderly as a real newborn. In this way, the boys and girls are encouraged—briefly—to step into the parental role, an exercise in compassion and generosity. […]

The Value of “Tuck-Ins”

by Austin Wimberly

There’s a saying in the South that goes, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” I was raised on this aphorism and felt it acutely around special occasions such as Christmas, Mom’s birthday, and, of course, Mother’s Day.

Growing up, it was always interesting to me that the same amount of fastidiousness wasn’t applied to Dad’s birthday or to Father’s Day. As a boy, this seemed demonstrably unfair, but as I’ve gotten older and entered the ranks of parents, I think I understand why the disparity exists. I think it has to do with our need for a protection that is both intimate and nurturing.

Now, right off the bat, I can hear the internet criticizing this opinion. “Men can be just as intimate as women,” the web might say. Or “This opinion of yours that mothers are more nurturing than fathers is sexist.” And I am sure there are millions of counter-examples to refute everything I’m going to write. […]

Nine Tips On How to Prepare For (New Older) Mothering Over 40, 45 and 50!

by Cyma Shapiro

Photo by Shana Sureck

You are so happy! You see the finish line before you and are racing toward new older motherhood with joy and trepidation. However, you haven’t thought out the rest of this journey. In fact, I’ll bet that you haven’t thought much past the blessed event.

Whether you are marrying into a family with children, are adopting, fostering, having children through a surrogate, undergoing natural childbirth or IVF, or becoming a guardian, the end result may be the same.

Here are nine tips for planning in advance:

1) Shore up your support team – whether it is friends, family, a therapist or support group. You are about to be embark on the ride of your life. Having cheerleaders around you cannot hurt. […]