midlife Archives - Mothering in the Middle

My Mystical Journey to Midlife Motherhood

by Laura Jane Murphy

I have always felt there was a mystical path for my becoming a mother. It took longer and was more challenging than I could have wanted or expected. Through it all, I never doubted in my conviction that my destiny was to be a “mom.”

Life is a scavenger hunt and there are clues presented through following the vibration of the heart. Reason has nothing to do with Love.

Today, at 60, I am the proud mother of a young teenage daughter embarking on her future. I dislike labels, so I consider myself a late bloomer – not an “older mom.”

Yet, I also find myself in a tough place of introspection, realizing my years ahead will be less than the ones gone by in my “rear view mirror.” For the last few years, I am no longer someone’s daughter – I said goodbye to that sweet role with the death of both my parents. […]

Spare Some Change? (An Ode to Midlife Mothering)

by Nancy LaMar Rodgers

Spring Ahead

There is something magical about hearing that first bird tweeting somewhere off in the distance when the snow is still on the ground and you can still see your breath as soon as you walk outside. I think however it is the annual changing of the clocks that sets our bodies into motion, no matter how long we have sat stagnant, and hibernating.

So while most of us take the change of seasons in stride, what is it about change in general that makes many of us go into either a paralyzed or manic state, dependent upon our primitive reaction to trauma? […]

How to Inventory Your Personal Assets for 2015

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Have you ever noticed how, at this time of year, there are lists and lists circulating? You can find a list of the 20 best films of 2014, the 10 worst dressed people, the 50 most interesting books. In addition to spending some of your spare time reading through these lists, how about taking some personal time to create your own list – of your 10 most important assets?

It may seem unusual for you, a midlife mother, to concentrate on yourself instead of on the needs of the family around you, but allow yourself to focus on and embrace your own development at this pivotal time.

Creating your asset inventory will give you a leg up on beginning 2015 from a position of power, but how do you begin? […]

“Working” Woman (Me)
Gallery
“Working” Woman (Me)

Commentary, Daily Living, Mothers Over 50, Reinventing Ourselves

“Working” Woman (Me)

by Jane Samuel

A few weeks ago I stood waiting on my coffee at the counter of my neighborhood Starbucks. Making small talk, the young male barista smiled and asked, “You headed to work?”

My mind went into overdrive. […]

A Mother’s Musings – At Forty-Six

by Judith Lee Herbert

Devi Sri, the flying Balinese
Goddess of Fertility, with her gold crown,
deep green carved wings unfurled
and reaching upwards,
pale white arms wrapped round
orange and red baby bunting.

She is suspended serenely
like a star in the sky of my bedroom,
as I hang in the space between
forsakenness and motherhood.

I worship her, but do not offer her
jasmine, lotus and incense,
though perhaps I should.

I treasure the fortune from my fortune cookie
“Your fondest dream will come true.”
I savor my mother’s dream of me:
Wearing a red dress, walking,
holding the hand of a little girl.

And then Dana arrives.
Bursting through the gates of impossibility
whooshing through the halls of the unexpected,
from the heavens into my arms.

Judith Lee Herbert has returned to poetry after a successful career in another field. She graduated Cum Laude in English Literature from Columbia University. She has a daughter who is a sophomore in college, and she lives in New York City, with her husband, who writes plays. She had her daughter when she was in her 40s.

Parking Lot

by Maggie Lamond Simone

Photo courtesy of Pecklife.com

50 Is The New 40

by Maggie Lamond Simone

They say 50 is the new 40.

I’ve been hearing that more and more lately as my half-century mark is winding down its tenure. Most of my friends are saying it with a kind of trepidation in their eyes, a hopeful “please don’t freak about this – you’re not going to freak about this, are you?” sense of panic lingering just behind their encouraging smiles. Most of my friends are younger than me, because their children are friends with my children, and I started … late, let’s call it.

The truth is, I have been kind of freaking out about this. It simply doesn’t seem accurate. I remember clearly when my mom was this age, and I remember it clearly because I was pushing 30 myself. In contrast, my oldest child is pushing puberty. Our combined hormones could generate enough power to light a small town. And I’m happy when I remember his name. […]

When Shift Happens At Midlife

by Lisa Froman

NEVER IN LIFE is there a need to call on the power of grace and humility more than at midlife. As we take measure of our lives, we can find ourselves dismayed, discouraged and disillusioned to find our lives simply no longer fit us. All that we thought we were, no longer makes sense. Suddenly, we don’t fit in our own skin, never mind our own clothes. We look in the mirror and see faces, even bodies, we no longer recognize.

At midlife, many of us begin to feel a shift, or an unearthing, as I like to call it. Our jobs may or may no longer interest us in the same way, our relationships with our spouses or partners may have shifted —for better or worse—or even ended. […]

Midlife Mothers, Teenage Daughters, and Prenatal Care

by Stephanie Tillman (a.k.a. the Feminist Midwife)

As a healthcare provider, my work is to listen to the unique experiences of people throughout their lives. My favorite visits lately have been witnessing teenage daughters attend the prenatal visits of their midlife mothers. I have spent some time trying to figure out what makes this experience so special for myself and for the other women in the room, and I share a bit of that thought process here.

I am a midwife, serving women in an inner city. Many of my patients are non-English speaking, birthing in a new country and living at a crossroads between teaching family tradition and learning new approaches as their children grow. […]

FDA Approves Drug For Sexual Pain

Ladies, we have one more tool in the belt.

Last month, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a new drug to treat the vaginal and vulvar pain associated with loss of estrogen in older women.

That pain is called dyspareunia, and it’s caused by the changes in the vagina and genitals that occur when we lose estrogen during menopause. As we’ve said (often), our vaginal tissues become thin, dry, and fragile as our estrogen levels decline, which can make sex very uncomfortable. Dyspareunia is common, and it doesn’t get better on its own. […]