midlife fathers Archives - Mothering in the Middle

I Need Movie Theatre Seating (A Commentary By the Mid-Life Mr. Mom)

by Marc Parsont

As parents, we’re spending all this time worrying about not keeping score at our kid’s games; being supportive, not yelling, having fun at sporting events, etc. – so much so that we have ignored our most basic needs—of us, the parents.

Why do we watch the games on television rather than go to the game? It’s not just because some of us need to be near the restroom. It’s more basic than that. We’re sitting on bleachers, wood, metal, itchy grass. We’re subject to searing cold and blazing hot days. Even the ides of any month would be bearable if we just had movie-theater seating at all the games.

At this point in my (mid) life, give me a cushy seat, a Dolby stereo surround sound speaker system, basic food stuffs, a little petit cru and some Brie, for example. I can watch any game, no matter how long, cold or wet it is. We could add a lightning rod, a wet bar and cheer our kids on until dark or the booze ran dry. (I’d prefer to keep it inside, I must admit, but it all works.) […]

Just Before Two Years/Six Months/Five Days and a Handful of Hours – Ago

by Stefan Kleinschuster

What do I do here, in Hollywood, with the V-Word? Backstory: (Before Kid) I remember scores of parents everywhere talking about their children. Sorry, that’s a lie. I don’t remember scores of parents saying anything. That would have required caring about what parents were saying, and I remember a decade or two, maybe four or so, when I didn’t much care what they said.

Apart from that, I do recall them asking things in plangent tones like, “‘What are we teaching our children about the world?” and other sayings that felt a good deal like whining at the time.

Back then – about two years, six months, five days and a handful of hours (that is, before Sophie was born) – I could not have cared less about what we were teaching our children. Especially, about the V-Word. No, get your minds out of the bedrooms. I meant Violence. It’s no big deal, right? Especially since it’s everywhere? […]

For Father’s Day: An Homage to My Child’s Mother

by Stefan Kleinschuster

So, I was taking one of our wonderful walks with my crying kid through this dreamy California neighborscape. Sophie had fallen and scraped her hands – something she wouldn’t even balk at had she been at the park or further away from Her. But here, and after the fateful events of ten minutes ago, she was focused, you could say, on a certain (female) person.

I doubted the morale of our trip in the first place. Ten minutes before we were leaving Her, and after Her sweet kisses and soft looks, my daughter did an award–winning impression of an eternal goodbye with tears that would make a winged Oscar Committee cry into their leather seats. Blue eyes rimmed in red, platinum hair being blown by the foul wind of her Departure with Daddy, she wailed like Winslet. […]

Happy Mother’s Day, Heidi – From Your Husband, Mr. Mom

by Marc Parsont

There are some parents, both male and female, who do not want to have children. I respect their wishes completely.

It is not easy being a parent. As a matter of fact, we know that there are lots of lousy parents out there – certainly a lot of clueless ones.

I remember when we (young newlyweds, albeit old newlyweds, too) visited my brother and his family in Tucson. Heidi and I could not believe that anyone could raise children like that and not wind up in either an institution or in jail.

The snide comments and “suggestions” we made didn’t seem to go over too well. I don’t know why? Could the fact that we didn’t yet have children and didn’t have a clue, be the reasons? […]

Parenting For the Wrong Generation

by Adam Hall

When I became a parent for the first time, my father said something to me that really stuck. He told me, “Every generation is perfectly equipped to raise a child from their own generation.”

He went on to explain that the world changes so quickly, and things are so different “now” that parents can feel ill-equipped to raise their own children – simply because their frames of reference have shifted.

My parents had no idea what to do about video games. They didn’t have any idea what the current drug culture was, or how it affected us at school other than what they saw on the news. They knew how things were when they were kids, and were ready to help us navigate that world – but that world no longer existed. […]

Why I Write: Explaining My New Life as a Midlife Mr. Mom-Writer

by Marc Parsont

The creator of MotheringintheMiddle.com thinks that as Mr. Mom (Mr. Stay-At-Home-Midlife-Mom), I’m also “EveryMan.”

Yes, I am a stay-at-home father, but frequently very comical in my attempts. I nearly burned the house down twice, once by cooking baby nipples down to a black tar with the second time gloriously wiped clean from my memory by six years of changing diapers, wiping tears from faces down to polishing poopy smeared backsides. Poop is close to writing in many cases or is frequently the end result. […]

Being the Primary Caretaker in Any Relationship (An Homage to Father’s Day)

by Marc Parsont

As we rush by Mother’s Day and push toward Father’s Day, I’d like to remind everyone that loving your children is more important than gender. Being the primary caregiver in any relationship, male or female, isn’t easy, but using gender as the sole criteria is passé, as passé as pay phones, records (please bring vinyl back), lava lamps and politicians who believe in compromise.

Men can’t lactate or give birth, but from what I’ve heard from women, that may not be such a bad thing. The act of childbearing doesn’t always equate with good child rearing. […]