by Julie Donner Andersen
Every child-rearing book will tell you that children reach a point in their babyhood when being naked is preferred to wearing clothing. Child psychologists concur that this is a normal, healthy phase of development as children start exploring their birthday suits. […]
by Julie Donner Andersen
Being pregnant with baby number three – my midlife “oops” – was about as much fun as a funeral, and the responses to the news of our baby’s impending arrival were often just as depressing. Instead of the gasps and hugs by teary-eyed well-wishers the other pregnancies had solicited, this pregnancy was greeted with responses such as “Oh, I’m so sorry!” or “Better you than me!” It was as if I had just informed them that I was dying and not welcoming a new chapter in the book of our family by means of extending it.
I felt about as welcomed as a leper at our friends’ homes. No one patted my swollen tummy like a Buddha, hoping luck would rub off on him or her, as they had with my other pregnancies. Instead, our friends made hex signs with crossed fingers and said weird things like, “Hmm…wonder what’s in the water? I’M not drinking it!” or “Stay away from me! Your condition might be catchy!” No one wanted to feel this baby move, since that was old hat, too. Instead, they shot me sympathetic looks while secretly hoping my bladder would withstand the internal soccer match so I wouldn’t pee all over their sofas. […]
by Julie Donner Andersen
There exists in my neighborhood a gaggle of women who, on the outside, appear as normal as you and I. They lovingly raise children, cook dinners, and support their husbands. They tend to perfectly manicured lawns and rose-covered gardens while wearing strings of pearls and aprons. […]
by Julie Donner Andersen
My mom was a clown. Literally. At least she started out that way. She and her partner, Beverly, had an act called “Bobo and Dodo.” They entertained at children’s parties and marched in parades. A few years later, they became rag dolls called “Patches & Pockets” and were offered a TV show at WTOL-TV in Toledo, Ohio. Their show ran for 18 years in northwest Ohio and parts of Indiana and Michigan, and even won a local Emmy Award. […]
by Julie Donner Andersen
Being the maaahvelous parent I am (take it from me, because my kids will lie), I absorb all the literature I can get my hands on which have anything to do with parental improvement. Recently, I read that going on individual “dates” once a month with each of your kids will increase your intimate parent/child bond. […]
by Julie Donner Andersen
I don’t care who invented it. Perhaps some greedy florist or greeting card company, but it’s the only day of the year in which moms are feted, honored, gifted, and showered with appreciation for their roles as birth-givers, boo-boo kissers, vomit cleaner-uppers, laundry pile attackers, and vacuum cleaner rodeo clowns. […]
by Julie Donner Andersen
Another secret to surviving marriage in midlife is to share a hobby together, say the experts. It will renew your bond, and give you something to talk about over dinner besides the war in the Middle East or the irony of how your youngest kid resembles the mailman, they advise. […]
by Julie Donner Andersen
At the moment, I am wearing a pair of stretchy black stirrup pants. One of the elastic bands under my foot has just snapped and now flaps behind the heel of my shoe. There’s a hole the size of a quarter in the crotch, making it impossible for me to sit Indian style on any given floor (like you really believed this middle-aged, flexibility-of-steel mommy could sit in such a way?). […]
by Julie Donner Anderson
Women buy more books than men, which might explain why Dr. John Grey’s series of Mars/Venus books are bestsellers. Most women are clueless in regard to the male of the species, especially their never-ending failure in the romance department. Women will go to the ends of the earth (or to a bookstore, incognito) in search of the answer to the age-old question: When it comes to gifts, why is my husband such a klutz? Such a question is never asked aloud, however. It would make us women appear ungrateful for the smallest gestures our men attempt, but let’s face it: It’s hard to fake a smile when you get a bowling ball for your birthday. […]
by Julie Donner Anderson
I am pleased to report that despite three pregnancies and a middle-age threat to my waistline, I still wear a size 8.
Okay, I’m talking about shoe size. […]
