first time mothers over 40 Archives - Mothering in the Middle

Question: At 42 and still childless, is it time to have a baby with a sperm donor – instead of my long-term boyfriend?

I was a month shy of my 38^th birthday when I filed for divorce. I knew my biological clock was fast ticking down, and if I wanted a child I’d need to do it soon. But I was in the throes of starting my life over. I had just moved across the country, embarked on a new career and needed to put the broken piece of my heart back together. A baby would have to wait a little longer.

When I met a guy who was so much of the guy I was looking for, I tried to ignore the fact that he was less than enthusiastic about adding more kids to his family (he already had three boys ages 5, 7 and 11). At 39, I convinced myself I could wait another year and see how our relationship unfolded. Maybe he would come around. […]

Cyma Shapiro Interviews the Authors of The Mother’s Wisdom Deck

Q: Good Day, Niki. Thanks much for our time together. As a creator of Mothering with Soul, you have a unique, purposeful message. Tell me a little more about yourself, your collaborators, and your combined mission.

A: Thanks for having us, Cyma. It is an honor to connect with other midlife moms. As I was sharing with you, The Mother’s Wisdom Deck and Mothering with Soul largely grew out of our desire to marry our pre-motherhood life experiences and spiritual growth with the path of motherhood. Co-author Elizabeth Marglin (44), illustrator Jenny Kostecki-Shaw (38) and I (40) have each spent a lot of time traveling, studying with wisdom teachers around the globe, and contributing to the world as professional women.

Speaking for myself, I was totally unprepared for the changes that motherhood would bring. When I became pregnant, I was in the midst of a project to document the wisdom of indigenous elder women and thought that I would be able to continue my work with a baby on my back. My son had other plans. I can laugh now at my naïveté, but moreover I am grateful for how motherhood has enriched my life in ways that I never could have planned. Motherhood is about surrendering to something greater than myself and seeing what wants to unfold. The Mother’s Wisdom Deck supports that process of letting go and tuning in. […]

Old = Dirty? (A Commentary on the UK’s First Response Campaign)

by Elizabeth Gregory

Dear Reader: This commentary is in response to a new ad campaign in Britain sponsored by the pregnancy testing company First Response, which warns young women that their childbearing years are numbered. You can find related articles on midlifemothers/facebook.

One of the nice things about being an older mom is the friendly comments you get: just this morning a 29-year old I’d just met remarked apropos of nothing in particular that I didn’t look 55. She hoped she’d look like me when she was my age!

Maybe she was lying, but she had no particular reason to. More likely she was just telling me that I looked a lot better than she’d expected for the elderly mother of an 8 year old. It’s not hard to succeed in that territory. Who am I to turn down a compliment? […]

Old Enough for Gratitude

by Andrea Lynn

My mother just dodged a cancer scare. My uncle is in the middle of one. My brother is having heart problems, and on Sunday I rushed my 2-year-old into the ER with an allergic reaction, that, thank God, resolved itself in a few hours without much medical intervention. So far, fingers crossed, everyone is fine. But it is that time of life when I’m feeling like we’re living on very shaky foundations, and no one should be taking anything for granted. […]