by Marc Parsont
Let me start out by saying, “I HATE Father’s Day! What a waste of time, energy and money!
I don’t need breakfast in bed.
I can’t sleep longer than 6:30, anyway, because of the dog – my son’s dog, I might add.
I don’t want to go to brunch or dinner with or without the kids; Father’s Day is a fake holiday. […]
by Lori Mihalich-Levin
A few weeks ago, I wrote about celebrating our mother colleagues at work on Mother’s Day. And the same, I believe, should go for dads. Both of these parental-celebration days are, for good reason, celebrated privately, among family. But there is no reason not to tout the merits of great moms and great dads at our places of employment, too.
I know, I know – studies have shown that women get a “motherhood penalty” at work and are suddenly perceived as less competent, while fathers get the so-called “fatherhood bonus” simply for having kids. These are biases that we, as a society need to work hard to educate ourselves about and to eradicate. […]
by Heather Griffiths
It doesn’t matter who your father was; it matters who I remember he was – Anne Sexton
What or rather who is a father? If you grew up in a Norman Rockwell painting, a father is depicted as someone who is there for you – supportive and attentive in every way; the “rule setter” – the stern but loving man who helped guide you into adulthood. The man who would give you away on your wedding day to the person you love.
For me, I grew up in a single-parent household with my mother and sisters. The person I knew to be my father was unsupportive – a staunch alcoholic rule-breaker in every sense of the word. Still, to this day, he has no idea when my birthday is. Yet, as a child he was my father. I grew up learning that I should love him and respect him, regardless. […]
by Carmel Harrington
On my first date with Mr H, we sat drinking elaborate virgin cocktails, in the lounge of the swanky Fitzwilliam Bar on Stephens Green, Dublin. The cocktails had more fruit in them than a Carmen Miranda hat!
As we shyly shared details of our lives, I began to think that this guy could be special.
But then we had a little speed wobble. As in the wheels nearly came off the bus. As I airily declared that I wanted a man with no baggage, his face paled a little.
Feck (translation: oh, no!).
He quickly reassured me that his particular baggage didn’t include a wife, ex or otherwise, (good times), but he did have a three-year old daughter, from a previous relationship (bad times).
Feck. Feck.
by Nicholas D'Ambra
I’m not an expert at being a Dad, but I learned a lot from my own father, who happened to be the best. He wasn’t perfect. He definitely made mistakes. However, he made those mistakes seem like integral threads in the blanket of parenting.
He always put his family first. Like his father before him, my Dad worked hellishly long hours to provide for his family. I couldn’t list five things he ever purchased for himself. He would often go without, so his kids could go with.
He always made time for his children. At the end of a 14-hour day, he would help coach my Little League team. I would wait for him to come home in summertime at the top of our block, sitting on a wall. He smiled whenever he saw me there. I would get into the car and drive the short distance home where he would grab something to eat on our way to practice. […]
by Christy Stansell
I hope you don’t have one, but if you do, I’m guessing your court order looks something like mine: the child will spend Mother’s Day with Mom and Father’s Day with Dad, even if it is “supposed” to be the other parent’s weekend. That was all good and fine…. until I got remarried… and now my husband – the “step-dad” – never gets to have Father’s Day with his step-daughter. It’s heart-wrenching.
When my second husband and I were dating, my little girl told me, “When my dad goes to heaven, I want Biggie to be my daddy.” We called him “Biggie” because, as God’s humor would have it, he and my daughter have the same name, just spelled differently. Little did she know then that it wouldn’t be long before she’d get her wish. I remarried soon after my daughter’s 6th birthday. She delighted in being the flower girl for our wedding.
Now my forever-husband and my daughter are “like this” (picture fingers wound together tightly!) And, even though her birth father is still alive, my daughter calls her step-dad “Daddy” (much to her biological father’s chagrin.) I’m not about to forbid my daughter from calling him whatever endearment she feels comfortable. Honestly, if her dad got remarried, and she wanted to call his wife “Mom” I’d let her, without complaint, because I’m confident in my role as her mother… but I digress. […]
Phyllis Goldberg Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman Ph.D.
It’s easy to buy into the commercialism of Father’s Day. You may wonder if expensive ties or tools will bring you closer, only to realize you want honest conversations with your dad. Perhaps you don’t want only emails from your brother or texts from your son. If you’re ready for more openness with the men in your life, why not start with your partner?
According to research on the effectiveness of marital therapy, communication is one of the most commonly reported and difficult problem to manage. Discrepancies in how men and women talk can lead to further conflict as partners begin to focus blame on each other, themselves or the quality of their relationship. […]
by Len Filppu
My fatherhood style runs a strange range between Robert Young of Father Knows Best and Ozzy Osbourne, bat biter, so it’s always good for me to bounce ideas off other dads… even if I get back a twisted triangulation on my parental reality. I invited my friend Vern to join me for a pre-Father’s Day drink at my favorite watering hole.
While I repeated my order of a non-fat, no foam, decaf latte to the bustling barista, Vern grumbled, “I thought you invited me for a drink? That generally indicates alcohol. This place reminds me of a library.” […]
by Maggie Lamond Simone
Me and Dad
You could say I always had suspicions. The fact that they get along so well in and of itself was a tipoff, but true confirmation came the first time I saw my husband clean the house. He was a man on a mission, determined to clean it like it had never been cleaned before . . . and convinced that it hadn’t been.
I found myself watching the whole scenario with my mother’s bemused expression and thought, “Oh . . . my . . . GOD. I’ve married my father.”
Although I’m doing better with it as time goes on, I admit I saw many of the stages of grief when the similarities started becoming noticeable. There was denial (“No. I’m imagining it. He does not turn the TV up after I go to bed”), anger (“Okay, stop it! I mean it! Stop rearranging my counters!”), all the way to acceptance (“All right, honey. We can leave for the show two hours early.”) […]
by Len Filppu
Dear Reader: We are again fortunate and pleased to present the writings of the inestimable Len Filppu – this time with today’s launch of his new book, PRIME TIME DADS: 45 Reasons to Embrace Midlife Fatherhood.
At the start of the 20th century, the average American lived only 47 years. Life expectancy for that same American born today is approximately 78 years. Life expectancy in the United States is currently longer than ever before, and it is on the increase.
These advances are not driven by chugging Methuselah mash from the latest fountain of youth or even esoteric medical innovations affordable mainly by billionaires. It’s about down to earth basics that are directly within our control. […]