Andrea Lynn Archives - Page 4 of 4 - Mothering in the Middle

Putting the Children First

by Andrea Lynn

I came to motherhood late, which means I spent many years – most of my life – putting myself first. I’ve always been single, and independent, so I’ve had to take care of myself. But I’ve also been able to indulge myself. To eat what I wanted, when I wanted. To go out. To read. To sleep in. To exercise. To travel. To change my schedule at the drop of a hat. To save money and to spend money. Years and years – okay, decades – of worrying only about myself, my happiness, my comfort, my success. […]

Bad Mother

by Andrea Lynn

It is the era of the Bad Mother confessional. Proud recounting of the slacker things we do as moms, the ways in which we defiantly refuse to compete for the Mother of the Year award. Everywhere one turns, it seems, mothers are unashamedly sharing the ways at which they don’t quite meet the needs of their children. […]

Unplugged or Plugged In?

by Andrea Lynn

I used to be very plugged in. Up to date. On top — of world events, popular culture, hot debates, best books. There have been times in my life and in my career when I’ve read seven newspapers a day. Later it became about websites and blogs, subscriber sites, email blasts, piles and piles of content and responses. Hard news and soft. Come Oscar time, I’d have seen every movie. I watched all the best TV shows, followed favorite columnists, and plugged myself into at least a dozen daily personal blogs. The Internet and I came of age at the same time so my career has never been without it, and I’ve spent my entire adult life feeling like isolation is impossible, and enjoying that fact. […]

Grandparents and Midlife Moms

by Andrea Lynn

When I was 26 and my mom was 52, we went backpacking together in France and Italy. We took the train, hitchhiked, stayed in youth hostels – the whole thing. It’s not that I’m abnormally attached to my mom – really. The year before I’d done Europe with my best friend, backpacking, youth hostels, Eurail pass. But every time I’d see something great or funny, I’d be thinking, I wish mom could see this. Because she’d never been overseas, but would have loved everything. […]

Age Before Beauty: A View From Canada

by Andrea Lynn

I had my first IVF and first daughter in the United States; my second IVF and second daughter in Canada, two years later. There is little cultural divide, fertility-wise, between the two countries. My American reproductive endocrinologist, like my Canadian, was a strange amalgam of cautious aggression and hopeful pessimism, and both men seemed to want to simultaneously scare and reassure me as they prodded and poked my aging eggs. The clinic in Canada had massage chairs and a huge fish tank; the American better magazines and logo. Needless to say, stirrups are stirrups, no matter which side of the border I was on. Obstetrically, my file was stamped “AMA” – Advanced Maternal Age – in both countries, winning me extra ultrasounds and blood tests each time. Neither obstetrician cared whether I dyed my greying hair during the first trimester (I didn’t anyway, a triumph for the alarmist-pregnancy industry). […]