I’ve had several occasions, lately, to just ponder the state of things, and I find myself coming up short.
Last Sunday, a “60 Minutes” expose revealed that nearly 25% of all school-aged children will soon live in families falling below the poverty line. A friend of mine, leaving her husband for another man, shuts the door on me when I show up spontaneously to meet him, saying that he hates unscheduled meetings and our future introductions should take place away from the house. Another friend is teetering dangerously into mental illness.
I have several friends who have recently lost their parents, and a few friends who are grappling with illnesses. My childhood friend’s mother just passed away. I have problems ingesting all of this, and sometimes I’m not sure what to do with the rhythm of life.
I find that being over 50 feels like life is racing by too quickly; time stood still during childhood, when I desperately wanted to just be “grown up already.”
My children are now school-aged; I could swear that it was just yesterday when I was pushing them in a stroller.
How to make sense of time that moves so quickly and is palpably moving toward a finish line?
I think that midlife and Midlife Motherhood forces us to examine everything in painful detail. We stand with one foot living in the most pleasurable unreality of our children and the joy that that innocence brings us. We stand with the other foot in the reality of being a sandwich generation – taking care of and watching the passing of aging parents, and witnessing our lives moving forward faster and faster toward what?
What to do?
I, for one, try to “do it all.” A little meditation, yoga, working out. I have a clear-cut spiritual life, and live my religion faithfully. I eat like a saint. I love my husband, my children, my dog and two cats. I love some of my friends. So, now what?
I’d love some comments from any of you. Perhaps, I’m just in need of a shoulder, or gentle support.
What will any of us do if (in the end) we’re the last one standing…