The Bridge Years

growing olderWhen I was in my thirties, I remember some of the forty-year-olds at work talking about getting older.  They would talk about how their metabolism had slowed, how their hair was thinning, how youth was wasted on the young.  And they would sort of give each other those knowing looks that seemed to say “Hang in there” or “It’ll be alright.”  I chalked up this overheard confiding to a kind of bonding over Prufrockian misery.

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I Made a Promise Never to Be One of Those Sports People

sports dadI made a promise never to be one of those sports parents, loud, obnoxious, screaming from the sidelines.  I rarely get upset watching sports on television.  As a matter of fact, I pride myself on calmly and cooly passing judgment on plays on both sides of the field.  So why do I have so much trouble watching my children play sports?

I broke my promise in the time it took me to write it down.  I just can’t understand why I can’t let it go.  Let’s face it.   If I can’t even watch a six year old soccer game without yelling, screaming and losing my stoic, cool demeanor, then I’ll become one of those pariahs that everyone stares at on the sidelines.

That does not stop me from being critical of the way everyone else stomps around on the sidelines.  Hypocrisy is one of my strong points. [Read More…]

Moms Standing as One to Raise Happy and Healthy Kids (Celebrating Moms for Moms Day – March 4)

Judgment comes easy.   It is so easy to raise an eyebrow in another mom’s direction and question her choices, even before you become a mom yourself.  I know I don’t speak for just myself–that’s just how easy it is. Whether you’re a first-time mom in your twenties or you came to be a mom during those “geriatric pregnancy” years, it is human nature to cast judgment toward moms who don’t do it the way you would.

As a mom who came late to the party after waiting several years for the “right time” to have kids, I have been on the receiving end of my fair share of judgment.  Did I wait too long to become a mom?  Am I too old for this gig?  Was it the infertility my fault because I waited to grow up before I tried to have a baby? How could anyone put their career before starting a family?  Do you look at me and wonder if it took me so long to have a baby; are children that important to me? [Read More…]

The War Between the Sexes

man womanThe war between the sexes never really ends.  I’m not talking about the inequality in wages, the glass ceiling, the cost of dry cleaning or hair styling or being taken advantage of by mechanics in general.

I’m talking about toilet seats.  Up or down.  And the general leading the charge in our house is my six-year-old son. [Read More…]

By |January 10th, 2014|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Mothers Over 40, Mothers Over 50, Other|Tags: |0 Comments

Summer Beauty of Mid-Life

adirondack chairThe deck is a nice place to sit and drink in the view, as well as to drink a nice glass of wine. It gives me a bird’s eye view of everyone who is either in the cottage, on the lawn, in the water or on the dock. The air smells like summer; of suntan lotion and warm breezes. Ripples of diamonds sparkle on top of the water as the sun smiles down and I feel its heat.

From this spot I can only see a snippet of the lake, which entrances me. My family’s second home is here in the beautiful Berkshires. The brown Adirondack chairs sit on the lush lawn like sentinels guarding the treasure beyond. The trees sway lightly and I hear the birds chirp, lawnmowers whir, boats whizz, and my daughters inside still deciding which bathing suit to wear. [Read More…]

Father’s Day

It’s Father’s Day as I write this. The end of the day, the kids in bed, and they’ve survived, once again, this day our family does not celebrate. It was the first year Claire was really aware of Father’s Day, because her kindergarten class did a project for their dads. I’d given her a head’s up, of course, when she was thrilled with her first elementary school Mother’s Day project.

Guess what, sweetie. You’ll do this again next month, but it’ll be for dads. You can do your project for someone else, for me or for Grandpa. She chose Grandpa, and on Friday the project came home, duly wrapped and labeled for my father, who lives 300 miles away and will get it when we visit this summer. [Read More…]

My Worst Fears Have Come True…

I have become…a soccer mom.soccer ball

Car pools to ballet, soccer, art class, camps, play dates, school(s), and it’s just beginning. It’s going to get worse.

It was o.k. being the vacation pack mule.  I have qualifications for lifting car seats, backpacks and 20 suitcases for an overnight trip.  I’m male and I’m breathing. [Read More…]

A Valentine’s Tradition

Gather ’round, kids. Our very favorite holiday, Valentine’s Day, is fast approaching. It’s the one day we are allowed to blatantly display our love for each other, and every year Auntie Maggie takes particular delight in sharing the special story of this most romantic time.  Yes, Auntie Maggie has an issue or two. [Read More…]

Learn to Ride the Waves

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf” – Jon Kabat-Zin

In the last few weeks, the why question has come up every day.  It really is a foolish question.  Honestly, outside of a scientific topic there is rarely a good answer for “Why?”  If I could say why a vibrant, kind, friend succumbed to multiple myeloma last week, don’t I also need to know why the shell of a nasty ancient relative remains alive in a nursing home?  This is complicated, and our hearts yearn for simple answers that we can wrap in tidy packages, secure with twine, and pack away, so that we can go on with our daily tasks without interruption.  [Read More…]

Done

Done: This mother of babies has retired.

The email surprised me. Apparently the Chinese orphan we had sponsored for the last five years had been adopted. Not three days earlier I had finally shipped off a package of specially selected Christmas presents: a doll, a few Chinese picture books, a cheongsam (Chinese dress), and some craft items. [Read More…]

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