Mothers Over 50

The School of Transracial Motherhood

Being on the cusp of turning 44 and trying to learn a new language has made me question my sanity. Being in school, again, I remember wishing I could do better, realizing I never understood what I thought I did and ultimately being disappointed in myself. My desire to do well was constantly chased with the overwhelming possibility I never would.

For me, school was a place to be social, learn my love of singing and fight with my anxiety for the first two weeks of every school year.

[Read More…]

A Girl’s Best Friend(s)

friendsI was observing a group of college friends over lunch the other day and it brought me back to my own college days.

I adored my university experience; it is where I met my lifelines, my Rat Pack. Nine of us met freshman year and eventually all lived together, crammed into a five bedroom house on North Henry Street. We ruled the world back then with our Discmans and fake ID’s. We had youth and hairspray on our side. We were unstoppable.

We have experienced so much since those beer soaked days of college 20 years ago. We have rallied around each other through divorce, miscarriage, infertility, and aging. There have been cancer scares, pregnancy scares (back when all of us combined couldn’t have changed a diaper), and a million everyday dramas. [Read More…]

Haiku for Midlife Mothers – Happy Mother’s Day!

Dear Reader: Please enjoy some haikus from BoomerHaiku that celebrate the special challenges – and rewards – of midlife motherhood.

What’s Boomer Haiku? Well, a haiku is a 17-syllable poem in three lines of 5, 7 and 5 that traditionally evokes images of the natural world. Boomer Haiku (a blog by Roxanne Jones) takes a mostly light-hearted, often irreverent look at life as a baby boomer as we move through midlife and beyond. After all, what could be more natural than looking (and laughing) at our lives at this juncture?

Having a baby practically guarantees you never get enough sleep. Plus, you’re likely dealing with the sleeplessness that often accompanies perimenopause or menopause:

Sleep deprived. Whether
from hormones or new baby,
it’s my new normal. [Read More…]

Taking Back Mother’s Day

Ode to Mom

I am the youngest of eight children. I was born in 1963, a bygone era of large families and stay-at-home moms.  My mother had eight children within 13 years with a few miscarriages thrown in for good pregnancy measure.

We are Irish Catholics with no sense of rhythm and therefore yearly pregnancies were the norm.

While I remember us celebrating Mother’s Day as adult children, I have no recollection of what that day looked like for her when we were all young.  I know that Mothers Day existed, because Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation in 1914 declaring it a day of honor for mothers. [Read More…]

Celebrate Your Mother-Colleagues This Mother’s Day

working momsDuring the holiday season a few years ago, the chief of my division at work gave each of us a bottle of wine as an end-of-the-year thank you gift.  Attached to the bottle was a typed note of the things she was grateful for, and at the top of the page was a handwritten, personalized note of gratitude.

To me, she wrote “Thank you for juggling work and motherhood so elegantly.”  Elegence?!  I was breathtaken.  I was only a few months back from maternity leave after the birth of my second child, and that word was the antithesis of how I would have described myself.

Here I was, thinking I was frazzled beyond recognition, burning candles at both ends, wearing  ponytails and quite possibly clothing that smelled like spit-up.  And the word she chose was “elegantly”?! [Read More…]

11 Days to a New Midlife Mother’s – Day (A Carol Sung to “The 12 Days of Christmas”)

Mothers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the 30th day of April, Another said to me, “Good for You!”

On the first day of May, Another said to me, “What were you thinking?”

On the second day of May, Another said to me, “Why would you do this?”

On the third day of May, Another said to me, “When will you retire?”

On the fourth day of May, Another said to me, “Are you the Grandma?”

On the fifth day of May, Another said to me, “You’re how old?”

On the sixth day of May, Another said to me, “You are pretty selfish!”

On the seventh day of May, Another said to me, “Is this your first marriage?”

On the eighth day of May, Another said to me, “How did you do this?”

On the ninth day of May, Another said to me, “Who is the father?”

On the tenth day of May, Another said to me, “A lot of people are doing this.”

 

What, Me Worry? (A Commentary on the Recent East Side/NYC Apartment Building Explosion)

St Mark's PlaceMy son lives one avenue over from the East Village burned-out building, destroyed by a major gas leak explosion a few weeks ago.

He had been worried that it was a matter of time before areas of the city, particularly the Village, imploded. The infrastructure is just too old and jerry-rigged, he complained, as we munched on delicious Korean dumplings, hand rolled by Korean ladies standing behind the counter in front of us.

I have always worried about someone pushing him onto the subway tracks or his being mugged on a dark street at two a.m.-never imaging a gas explosion around the corner from his apartment, destroying an entire building and quarantining several neighboring ones. [Read More…]

My Mystical Journey to Midlife Motherhood

Laura and young daughterI have always felt there was a mystical path for my becoming a mother.   It took longer and was more challenging than I could have wanted or expected.  Through it all, I never doubted in my conviction that my destiny was to be a “mom.”

Life is a scavenger hunt and there are clues presented through following the vibration of the heart. Reason has nothing to do with Love.

Today, at 60, I am the proud mother of a young teenage daughter embarking on her future. I dislike labels, so I consider myself a late bloomer – not an “older mom.”

Yet, I also find myself in a tough place of introspection, realizing my years ahead will be less than the ones gone by in my “rear view mirror.”  For the last few years, I am no longer someone’s daughter – I said goodbye to that sweet role with the death of both my parents. [Read More…]

Daily Pearls of Wisdom

Lydia and Caroline 2011

I can hear my cell phone blowing up. First a text, then endless ringing until it goes to voicemail. Trying to work on my novel and tune out distractions, I kick myself for neglecting the first rule of writing: turn off all devices.

Then, the landline starts to ring and it doesn’t take caller ID to know it’s my daughter with the tragedy du jour. I pick up, knowing that she’ll keep trying until she has to resort to calling her father. God forbid. He’ll dispense real advice. Taboo in the parenting manual.

That’s my 26-year-old daughter, calling in for her daily dose of moral support or to simply “kvetch.” When her life is going well, it’s a joy to pick up, but when it’s not… well, that’s when I need to be on my A-game. [Read More…]

Rebirth (The Passage of Time and A Personal Take on Spring)

Funny old thing, time … One minute there you are with a newborn baby wondering over every minute, every detail of a new person, and then woosh – suddenly you have a three year old, grey roots in your hair and no idea where the last three years went.

In fact, it’s impossible to believe that your exuberant, fiesty, glorious small person was ever a tiny newborn, a baby crawling at the speed of lightning down the hall or a toddler wobbling along on chubby little legs, arms up in the air trying to balance.

Somehow in the wink of an eye your child has become an all-consuming, time-eating, high-speed and even more demanding individual with strong opinions on everything and an all encompassing zest for life (and love of sticks, mud and trampolines). [Read More…]

By |April 2nd, 2015|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Motherhood, Mothers Over 40, Mothers Over 50|Tags: , |0 Comments
Featured In