Mothers Over 40

Excerpts from Ch. 6 of the Book, The Wilderness of Motherhood

The Wilderness of Motherhood book coverDear Reader: We are so pleased to present an excerpt from MotheringintheMiddle.com contributor Lora Freeman Williams’ newly published book:

When Isaac is five weeks old, my mother dies. She has just turned 65.

My home phone rings while I’m taking a nap with the baby. It awakens me, and I decide to let it ring. When my cell begins to ring next, I realize that it is the hospital trying my second number. The nurse tells me Mom’s oxygen levels are dropping, the end near.

I cry hard for a few minutes. I’m thinking I can’t do this alone. I need help. So I call a friend, and Karen picks us up a short time later.

When we arrive, I see my mother is gasping for breath, and I feel like the little girl I once was, in big trouble. It’s like times she wanted me to fix things that were far beyond my ability to fix. The nurse tells this is what the body does as “part of the process.” She also tells me that Mom can still hear.

I go into her room, holding Isaac. [Read More…]

The Importance of Pets in Our Child’s Life

Making the decision to bring a pet into your family isn’t always easy. There are many things to consider such as the type of pet, cost, housing, etc.  You may be hoping to teach your child responsibility. All of those things are important. But adding a pet into your home can provide priceless experiences you may have not considered before. [Read More…]

“Unleashing the Truth” (Excerpts From Ch. 4 of the Book, Real Eyes Faith)

Dear Reader: We’re so pleased to feature the writing of our own Wendy Sue Noah, on today’s launching of her book, Real Eyes Faith

Phoenixes burst into flame when it is time for them to die and are reborn from the ashes.”  ― J.K. RowlingHarry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Why did this smart vivacious woman stay with such a monster?”

 I get this question a lot.

First, there was my interpretation of blind faith that God really wanted me there. Second I had no friends or family in Los Angeles. Finally with each child, I felt more and more stuck.

If I we did not have children, I can say with conviction that I would have left him early in our relationship, like the first three wives.

With each child, I felt more pressure. I would never leave my babies. I couldn’t imagine running away to a shelter with them. In my clouded view, there were no other options. The irony of necessity brought a solution I dismissed. We’ve all experienced a “wake-up call” at some point in our lives. A moment of clarity provides both a call to action and the strength to carry it out. It was time for change. The moment of clarity for me, when I realized with real eyes came from innocence. [Read More…]

8 Tips For Boomer Women To Better Enjoy Their Friendships

We can say without a doubt that intimate friendships have always been important to women. But have you noticed that they’ve become even more so as you face the transitions of children growing up and parents growing older?

Findings from a recent MacArthur Foundation Study indicate that the emotional security and social support that these relationships provide for women have been a survival strategy for them in adversity. In fact, friendship is one of the keys to a long and more satisfying life. [Read More…]

“Fertility Goddess” – An Excerpt From the Book, Ghostbelly

Ghostbelly“I am a fertility goddess,” I told Glenn. “First I get pregnant with a woman, then I get pregnant at forty-five.”

“Indeed,” Glenn said.

“Yes. If I’d lived my whole adult life with men, and at an earlier time, when they didn’t have such good birth control, I’d have six kids and six abortions behind me by now.” I am a historian of women and sexuality, and such people have no illusions about how women used to control their fertility.

“Good thing Julia saved you from that fate,” Glenn said. [Read More…]

A Mother’s Musings – North Star

                                                            Polaris- The North Star- Alpha Ursa Minor

Cobalt blue enamel sky,

diamond studded crescent moon adorn

the gold locket of my charm bracelet.

Gift from my parents when I was young,

it holds the image of my mother

as she journeys to a place

without words or memory.

               

Dana, my one and only Baby Buddha,

told me when she was three,

“Someday, I won’t need you anymore.”

She is eighteen; it is her time

to explore the brightness of the stars

and the vastness of the universe.

 

As constellations move in the night sky,

My position is shifting.

I navigate my way in space,

holding on to the sacredness of love,

my own internal North Star.

Judith Lee Herbert has returned to poetry after a successful career in another field.  She graduated Cum Laude in English Literature from Columbia University.  She has a daughter who is a sophomore in college, and she lives in New York City, with her husband, who writes plays.  She had her daughter when she was in her 40s.

By |September 24th, 2014|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Mothers Over 40|Tags: , |2 Comments

Maiden, Mother, Not Quite Crone

Maiden, Mother… Whoa-Not Quite Crone

Maiden, mother, cronePlanning to have a baby at 42 was, well, not in the plan.  It happened.  I thought I was in perimenopause, but alas, not so much.  My daughter was nine at the time and though we had tried while she was younger, it hadn’t happened and so we were a happy family of three.  I know for a fact that my son was supposed to come to me at age 42 even though I was not only unprepared, but more importantly, scared out of my wits.

Divine, Parental Intervention

I was 40 years old when we took my dad to live with us. We put an addition on the house.  I should have known it would turn into a metaphor.  Pops was great, but forgetful.  As an only child himself and then a father of eight, he had his own ideas about family.

“You know I was thinking kid, you might want to have another, being an only child is tough.”

And with that, my guilt would swell and I would clean the house. [Read More…]

The Highs and Lows of Contemplating Midlife Pregnancy

It’s time. You feel ready for this. You feel secure in your career, your financial situation, your relationships, and your place in life, and now you are ready to get pregnant and start your family. If you are a woman over the age of 35 and feel like you are in the prime of your life, you may be surprised to find that the maternity medical establishment may not view you in the same light. [Read More…]

Celebrating Our 4th Familyversary

I truly can’t believe it’s been 4 years since The Littlest E became our son.  Where did all the time go?  I’m sure most parents feel the same way when celebrating their child’s birthday, along with tremendous joy and gratitude.  As an adoptive parent, I get to celebrate the birth of our son, and the birth of our family, our Family Day.

I hope I never forget what life was like before The Littlest E came home with us, so that I don’t lose the gratitude I feel everyday that I get to be his Mom.  Adoption is a gift, one that I cherish with my very soul, for without that gift, my life and my husband’s life would be drastically different. [Read More…]

By |September 8th, 2014|Categories: Adoption, Commentary, Daily Living, Mothers Over 40|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

Getting On the Bus

“So, is he ready to get on the bus?” my friend asked, knowing my son is starting kindergarten.  “And, more importantly, are you?”

“He sure is, but last I checked, I’m not getting on the bus!” I laughed, fully aware of her meaning but not quite prepared to answer.  What she meant, of course, was, am I ready for my son to get on the bus? And, of course, I’m not.  [Read More…]

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