Midlife Foibles!

My Many Holiday Thoughts….

vampiresIt’s difficult for me admit, but I’ve been taking my kids chocolate from their plastic pumpkins.  I wish I could say it’s only a few pieces, but it’s not.  I’m like a Viking raider plundering and pillaging.  At least I was until my wife caught me.

Then both she and the nanny hid the kids candy.  I found it.  They caught me again and this time they threw the candy away, but not before I squirreled away a piece or two for a rainy day.  I tell you this as a precursor and cautionary tale about my other favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. [Read More…]

By |October 28th, 2014|Categories: Career & Professionalism, Commentary, Midlife Foibles!|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Too Much Post-Halloween Candy? Never Fear, The Great Pumpkin Is Here!

Melanie Elliott Halloween IIIOur first Halloween with The Littlest E was easy breezy. He was 15 months old and didn’t really know or care about pumpkins, costumes, going trick-or-treating, or eating candy.  We stayed home that year and answered the door whenever the bell rang.

For the past few years some friends of ours whose son is The Littlest E’s age, have held a Halloween potluck.  They live in a great kid-friendly neighborhood with lots of children going door-to-door.  We starting going to their house when The Littlest E was a little over 2 years old.  That first year attending their party, we lasted 10 minutes trick-or-treating.  Our little guy was too scared of adults in costume and he didn’t even like being in his own costume.  It was all a bit too much for him. [Read More…]

Autumn in the Air (Going Back)

leaf“I wouldn’t go back there for the world!” I said to a woman whose daughter was picking out new school stuff alongside my son.

“All I did was worry about homework and clothes, and if I wasn’t doing that, I was chasing a boy – not that I ever caught one. It was just way too much stress.”

“I know!” the woman laughed. “I’m glad this one’s only in first grade!”

“That’s when I was talking about,” I replied. She grabbed her child and fled. [Read More…]

Is That Your Grandson?

Here’s to Your Health

I put the supplements up on the counter at the health food store.  My eight month old was positioned on my hip and my 11 year old was standing next to me, bored and put out by the endless errands we had to run that day.

On the counter was Kava Kava for relaxation, B12 for energy, Vitamin D for my immune, Psyllium powder for constipation, and Black Cohosh for menopausal symptoms.  My son was fidgeting and trying to grab whatever was colorful on the counter.  The owner had yet to come to the register.  I handed the baby off to his sister and said, “hold your brother for a second, I forgot something.”  She obliged begrudgingly, still annoyed with his existence, ruining her standing as an “only child.” [Read More…]

Life Comes in a Tube of Toothpaste

toothpaste IMy wife is particular.  Favorite brand of this.  Won’t touch that.  I understand and try and adapt to this part of her nature.  I’m not sure I’m that much better anyway.

It didn’t bother me when she asked me to pick up some toothpaste for her at the local drugstore.  How hard is it to pick up some toothpaste?  That was my first mistake.

I mean, how hard can it be?  Keep this in mind.  The last time I bought toothpaste was a little over a year and three tubes of Cinnamon toothpaste gel ago.  TGFA (Thank Goodness for Amazon!)

Well, let me tell you.  That gooey, paste or gel can make your brain swell and pop — like one of those science fiction movies with the exception that you’ll have whiter teeth and better smelling breath. [Read More…]

By |October 2nd, 2014|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Midlife Foibles!|Tags: , |0 Comments

Older Parenting

eldermanBecoming an older parent, while gratifying, is downright scary.  We married when I turned 45 years old, and she was not.  Like any G-d fearing, country-loving man, I married a younger woman – an intelligent, loving woman who wanted children, with me no less.

We were fortunate.  While having children wasn’t easy, it wasn’t impossible.  We faced difficulties, tragedies that tested our love, and had two lovely children thirteen months apart.

I do not write of our success to make you feel jealous, unhappy or sad or awful.  I am writing to tell you of the fear I have right now about being an older parent, while writing to you from the emergency room of our local hospital. [Read More…]

By |September 22nd, 2014|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Midlife Foibles!|Tags: , , , |1 Comment

Some Days Our Hormones Clash…

Let’s start with where we are right now … my oldest daughter has hit the tween years also known as a preadolescent girl.  I on the other hand have been in the midst of perimenopausal symptoms….

Some girls are feisty from the get go … [Read More…]

Vacations Aren’t for the Weak at Heart

The fact that I don’t have Type 2 Diabetes comes as a shock to every medical practitioner I see.  I’m just coming down from the sugar high I had last night at Rehobeth Beach, Delaware.

They had a bonfire at the beach where they provided marshmallows for children to roast or as it appeared to me, flame them down to a charred, black tar suitable only for sliming back into the primordial ooze. [Read More…]

By |August 17th, 2014|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Midlife Foibles!|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

Half-Way Through Summer/Half-Way to School

summer and beachIt’s the middle of summer, but the ads have started coming already.  Buy backpacks and shoes and pencils, lunch boxes, book covers, shirts, slacks, shorts.

We spend nine months getting through school and then another three months selling them gear, garbage, puff, fluff and Spam (and I really mean Spam…the other Lunch Meat) to go back there.

Even though Labor Day and the beginning of school is far off, you can begin to see that glimmer of hope and eagerness beginning to betray itself.  The gear just starts those juices flowing.

Those tendrils begin to show at odd times, early mornings, late afternoons, when they don’t think they’re being watched.  Little grins and slivers appear randomly.  The complaints begin to taper off.  The moans and whines stop being repetitive, and get replaced by moments of pure silence and peace. [Read More…]

By |August 2nd, 2014|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Midlife Foibles!|Tags: , , |0 Comments

Vacation II

family bathing suitsIt’s good to get away.

The family unity experienced at the start of a vacation is a thing of beauty. The sense of expectation is high and positive attitudes abound. Vacations provide bonding opportunities for both parents and children that will last a lifetime. There is no fighting, no crying and very little whining

We try to vacation at least once a year. We usually go to beaches because I’ve been on a quest to find a conch shell on the beach for the last forty years or so. We’ve been to Maine (no conch shells), Cape Cod (no conch shells), and North Carolina (no conch shells.)

With each conch shell failure, I become more dejected. It bothers my husband almost as much, I think. He hates to see me sad, because he loves me and also because my clutter tends to worsen. “Hey, here’s a thought!” he helpfully chimed in during this year’s planning process. “Let’s find out where the conchs are, and go there!” I ignored his sarcasm and booked a trip to the Gulf Coast of Florida. [Read More…]

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