Daily Living

Excerpts from Ch. 6 of the Book, The Wilderness of Motherhood

The Wilderness of Motherhood book coverDear Reader: We are so pleased to present an excerpt from MotheringintheMiddle.com contributor Lora Freeman Williams’ newly published book:

When Isaac is five weeks old, my mother dies. She has just turned 65.

My home phone rings while I’m taking a nap with the baby. It awakens me, and I decide to let it ring. When my cell begins to ring next, I realize that it is the hospital trying my second number. The nurse tells me Mom’s oxygen levels are dropping, the end near.

I cry hard for a few minutes. I’m thinking I can’t do this alone. I need help. So I call a friend, and Karen picks us up a short time later.

When we arrive, I see my mother is gasping for breath, and I feel like the little girl I once was, in big trouble. It’s like times she wanted me to fix things that were far beyond my ability to fix. The nurse tells this is what the body does as “part of the process.” She also tells me that Mom can still hear.

I go into her room, holding Isaac. [Read More…]

The Importance of Pets in Our Child’s Life

Making the decision to bring a pet into your family isn’t always easy. There are many things to consider such as the type of pet, cost, housing, etc.  You may be hoping to teach your child responsibility. All of those things are important. But adding a pet into your home can provide priceless experiences you may have not considered before. [Read More…]

“Unleashing the Truth” (Excerpts From Ch. 4 of the Book, Real Eyes Faith)

Dear Reader: We’re so pleased to feature the writing of our own Wendy Sue Noah, on today’s launching of her book, Real Eyes Faith

Phoenixes burst into flame when it is time for them to die and are reborn from the ashes.”  ― J.K. RowlingHarry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“Why did this smart vivacious woman stay with such a monster?”

 I get this question a lot.

First, there was my interpretation of blind faith that God really wanted me there. Second I had no friends or family in Los Angeles. Finally with each child, I felt more and more stuck.

If I we did not have children, I can say with conviction that I would have left him early in our relationship, like the first three wives.

With each child, I felt more pressure. I would never leave my babies. I couldn’t imagine running away to a shelter with them. In my clouded view, there were no other options. The irony of necessity brought a solution I dismissed. We’ve all experienced a “wake-up call” at some point in our lives. A moment of clarity provides both a call to action and the strength to carry it out. It was time for change. The moment of clarity for me, when I realized with real eyes came from innocence. [Read More…]

8 Tips For Boomer Women To Better Enjoy Their Friendships

We can say without a doubt that intimate friendships have always been important to women. But have you noticed that they’ve become even more so as you face the transitions of children growing up and parents growing older?

Findings from a recent MacArthur Foundation Study indicate that the emotional security and social support that these relationships provide for women have been a survival strategy for them in adversity. In fact, friendship is one of the keys to a long and more satisfying life. [Read More…]

Helicopter Parent, Me (And the Price We Pay for Technology)

I am a self-proclaimed helicopter parent.  I originally thought the term meant one who rises above everything while looking out for everyone.  Turns out, it references a parent who hovers.

I’ve been told this by all the “professional” parents around me and some school care-givers as well. They don’t actually say “helicopter parent” to my face, but, rather they whisper or infer it.  It’s okay.  We waited until our forties to have a family.

If I seem cautious with my children, it’s because life has taught me a lot and I’m trying to protect them from excessive E.R. visits. But, I want them to learn from my mistakes. Rarely a good thing to be sure.  I wrestle with this everyday.  My Mom and Dad wanted a better life for me and my sister; I want better for my children.  But I wonder,  are we making life too easy for our children?

I see other parents do it and sometimes I cringe.  Recently, at dinner with another family, I witnessed a full nuclear meltdown when the child hadn’t received a particular color of crayon. My wide eyes and gaping mouth did little to hide my shock at how the parent handled this. Instead of taking their child aside and discussing the unacceptable behavior, the parent walked up to the host station and requested a red crayon for her “poor” child who neglectfully did not receive all of the appropriate shades in their crayon box.  Crisis averted…or delayed?

I may have also unwittingly made similar mistakes.  (But my son is really cute!)  I’m not kidding; even his pediatrician asked me if it was difficult to say no.  It is.  But I do. And I stick to it…mostly.  (But, seriously… he’s reallllly [Read More…]

“Fertility Goddess” – An Excerpt From the Book, Ghostbelly

Ghostbelly“I am a fertility goddess,” I told Glenn. “First I get pregnant with a woman, then I get pregnant at forty-five.”

“Indeed,” Glenn said.

“Yes. If I’d lived my whole adult life with men, and at an earlier time, when they didn’t have such good birth control, I’d have six kids and six abortions behind me by now.” I am a historian of women and sexuality, and such people have no illusions about how women used to control their fertility.

“Good thing Julia saved you from that fate,” Glenn said. [Read More…]

A Mother’s Musings – North Star

                                                            Polaris- The North Star- Alpha Ursa Minor

Cobalt blue enamel sky,

diamond studded crescent moon adorn

the gold locket of my charm bracelet.

Gift from my parents when I was young,

it holds the image of my mother

as she journeys to a place

without words or memory.

               

Dana, my one and only Baby Buddha,

told me when she was three,

“Someday, I won’t need you anymore.”

She is eighteen; it is her time

to explore the brightness of the stars

and the vastness of the universe.

 

As constellations move in the night sky,

My position is shifting.

I navigate my way in space,

holding on to the sacredness of love,

my own internal North Star.

Judith Lee Herbert has returned to poetry after a successful career in another field.  She graduated Cum Laude in English Literature from Columbia University.  She has a daughter who is a sophomore in college, and she lives in New York City, with her husband, who writes plays.  She had her daughter when she was in her 40s.

By |September 24th, 2014|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Mothers Over 40|Tags: , |2 Comments

Older Parenting

eldermanBecoming an older parent, while gratifying, is downright scary.  We married when I turned 45 years old, and she was not.  Like any G-d fearing, country-loving man, I married a younger woman – an intelligent, loving woman who wanted children, with me no less.

We were fortunate.  While having children wasn’t easy, it wasn’t impossible.  We faced difficulties, tragedies that tested our love, and had two lovely children thirteen months apart.

I do not write of our success to make you feel jealous, unhappy or sad or awful.  I am writing to tell you of the fear I have right now about being an older parent, while writing to you from the emergency room of our local hospital. [Read More…]

By |September 22nd, 2014|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Midlife Foibles!|Tags: , , , |1 Comment

Maiden, Mother, Not Quite Crone

Maiden, Mother… Whoa-Not Quite Crone

Maiden, mother, cronePlanning to have a baby at 42 was, well, not in the plan.  It happened.  I thought I was in perimenopause, but alas, not so much.  My daughter was nine at the time and though we had tried while she was younger, it hadn’t happened and so we were a happy family of three.  I know for a fact that my son was supposed to come to me at age 42 even though I was not only unprepared, but more importantly, scared out of my wits.

Divine, Parental Intervention

I was 40 years old when we took my dad to live with us. We put an addition on the house.  I should have known it would turn into a metaphor.  Pops was great, but forgetful.  As an only child himself and then a father of eight, he had his own ideas about family.

“You know I was thinking kid, you might want to have another, being an only child is tough.”

And with that, my guilt would swell and I would clean the house. [Read More…]

6 Things you might be doing that hurt adoptive families

Amy and I have always worked hard with our adopted children (oops, even I get it wrong sometimes) “children who were adopted” in an effort to help them avoid feeling offended. We are not sticklers for political correctness. We try to prepare our children for questions or comments that they might encounter and have them ready to understand what people mean, or what their real question is, rather than getting their feelings hurt.

Even so, there are times when people with the best intentions say and do things that make it difficult for our children. Knowing that such friends only want to help, I decided to share these points that will assist well intentioned friends and acquaintances in helping adoptive families like ours. [Read More…]

By |September 19th, 2014|Categories: Adoption, Commentary, Daily Living|Tags: , , |0 Comments
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