6 Things you might be doing that hurt adoptive families

Amy and I have always worked hard with our adopted children (oops, even I get it wrong sometimes) “children who were adopted” in an effort to help them avoid feeling offended. We are not sticklers for political correctness. We try to prepare our children for questions or comments that they might encounter and have them ready to understand what people mean, or what their real question is, rather than getting their feelings hurt.

Even so, there are times when people with the best intentions say and do things that make it difficult for our children. Knowing that such friends only want to help, I decided to share these points that will assist well intentioned friends and acquaintances in helping adoptive families like ours. [Read More…]

By |September 19th, 2014|Categories: Adoption, Commentary, Daily Living|Tags: , , |0 Comments

“Working” Woman (Me)

A few weeks ago I stood waiting on my coffee at the counter of my neighborhood Starbucks. Making small talk, the young male barista smiled and asked, “You headed to work?”

My mind went into overdrive. [Read More…]

Some Days Our Hormones Clash…

Let’s start with where we are right now … my oldest daughter has hit the tween years also known as a preadolescent girl.  I on the other hand have been in the midst of perimenopausal symptoms….

Some girls are feisty from the get go … [Read More…]

Motherhood Is The Ultimate Blessing

It’s Monday night and the house is quiet.

Well, I take that back – it’s quiet except for Hayden, who is squirming and complaining on my lap. He’s been in a grouchy mood all day, and I think I’ve nursed him 49 times. Possibly less, but it doesn’t feel like it. Lily is chattering in the background too – covering her doll with a maroon plastic pasta strainer and singing “wash, wash, wash.” (Give that girl an A+ for creativity, because I promise she isn’t reenacting anything she’s seen here before.)

But. it’s more quiet here than usual, because the rest of my kids are dispersed throughout our town tonight….some are playing football in a park with their older brother, a few are off on an ice cream date with Daddy, and Mackenzie is staying the night with a friend from work whose husband is out of town. [Read More…]

Is my Teen ‘Just Dieting’ or Developing an Eating Disorder? (September is Childhood Obesity Month)

Dear Reader: This is Part I of a four-part series identifying the warning signs for food-related problems and focusing on childhood obesity.

Julie just turned 15. This is the third night that she chimes in about her meat, “Mom, this is disgusting …and cruel too!“ She also declares,  “I am a vegetarian.”

You are not sure what to think.

You recall that eating disorders start by teens not eating meat.

On the fifth night that Julie eats only salad you are officially worried. [Read More…]

Our First Back-to-School and Other Catastrophes

Preschool was difficult enough.  But, at least it was owned by my best friend. And, I already knew a lot of the staff before our little two-year-old son entered the gates.

For the first two weeks, I stayed at school (my husband was with me the first week) and watched.  For two and a half hours, twice a week, I hid behind some wire fencing about fifteen feet away and watched.  And cried. And watched.  I was getting used to our routine when my dear friend who owns the school came up to me and said, “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”  Turns out it was a therapist.  [Read More…]

By |September 12th, 2014|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Gay Fathers|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

The Highs and Lows of Contemplating Midlife Pregnancy

It’s time. You feel ready for this. You feel secure in your career, your financial situation, your relationships, and your place in life, and now you are ready to get pregnant and start your family. If you are a woman over the age of 35 and feel like you are in the prime of your life, you may be surprised to find that the maternity medical establishment may not view you in the same light. [Read More…]

Celebrating Our 4th Familyversary

I truly can’t believe it’s been 4 years since The Littlest E became our son.  Where did all the time go?  I’m sure most parents feel the same way when celebrating their child’s birthday, along with tremendous joy and gratitude.  As an adoptive parent, I get to celebrate the birth of our son, and the birth of our family, our Family Day.

I hope I never forget what life was like before The Littlest E came home with us, so that I don’t lose the gratitude I feel everyday that I get to be his Mom.  Adoption is a gift, one that I cherish with my very soul, for without that gift, my life and my husband’s life would be drastically different. [Read More…]

By |September 8th, 2014|Categories: Adoption, Commentary, Daily Living, Mothers Over 40|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

Getting On the Bus

“So, is he ready to get on the bus?” my friend asked, knowing my son is starting kindergarten.  “And, more importantly, are you?”

“He sure is, but last I checked, I’m not getting on the bus!” I laughed, fully aware of her meaning but not quite prepared to answer.  What she meant, of course, was, am I ready for my son to get on the bus? And, of course, I’m not.  [Read More…]

The Long Wave Goodbye

Dear Reader: Each year, I repost this essay, written when my children were young. However, it remains true to me; the original wave is etched in my heart and mind forever.  school bus

Today, I waved to my daughter riding away on the bus. The silly kind of wave – two arms, as if flagging down a passing ship.  We both continued waving until the bus was out of sight.  Walking back to my house, I had a lump in my throat. I am sad.

I’m sad for the time which is passing so quickly; sad, too, that I see that my parenting must be working well – my own daughter still longs for me.  I did not have that with my own mother. I will continue to try my hardest to fulfill that need, until her hands stop reaching for mine, the arm waves stop and I see her waving to her friends, not me. That time is coming. In fact, it’s just around the corner.

\Writer Kelly Salasin blogged, “There are so many deaths in mothering, beginning at the beginning, and arriving every day after. But equally matched with these deaths are the blessings of a new life – new growth – new possibility.” These words resonate with me. [Read More…]

Featured In