Commentary

A Bun and A Bird In the Oven

                                                                                    I Just Don’t Cook

thanksgiving_feastI excel at other things. Planning, making and serving large family dinners have never been one of my fortes. My family, however, had other ideas the year my dad passed away and I found myself pregnant with my son.

I was about 8 weeks in when my family thought it might be a good idea to have Thanksgiving at my house.  Having never hosted a family holiday (that was my sisters’ jobs), I wasn’t sure I was up for the task but being hormonally challenged at the time, I agreed.  That was my first mistake; as I undoubtedly would have to host this dinner, sober.

Murphy’s Law

So I shopped for the big bird. Strangely enough, in my newfound mindset of maternal musings, I found myself actually looking forward to this event and contemplating place settings and intricate autumnal table décor.   Thankfully those latter thoughts passed quickly. [Read More…]

Three Men And a Little Baby (Girl)

Nicolas and familyIt happened two months ago that our lives changed drastically.  We were two Dads and a beautiful five-year old boy.  Two and a half men.  We were way passed diapers and pre-chewed food (sometimes that stuff smelled as bad going in as it did coming out).  Things were moving along rather smoothly and we had finally found our rhythm.  Our son was graduating from preschool on Friday and the Wednesday before was his last day of “class.”

There I was, a grown man standing in Starbucks after dropping him off for the last time at our beloved preschool, tears coming down behind my Wayfarers ( a retro-nod to the days when I thought I was cool…I never was BTW).  Friday’s graduation was going to be embarrassing.  An Irish-like Keening seemed inevitable. [Read More…]

Why We Celebrate Birthdays (In Honor of “B’s”)

birthdaycakeMy son, “B,” turned to me last night as he was getting ready to fall asleep, and asked why we celebrated birthdays? After doing something unusual, like actually researching a few articles online, and hold on—thinking about it for more than a minute, I came up with some really good reasons we celebrate birthdays.

We love thinking we’re younger than someone else. Joe Schmo is getting older, hard of hearing and flatulent.  We haven’t gotten there yet, so obviously, we are superior to Joe Schmo. [Read More…]

By |November 16th, 2014|Categories: Commentary, Daily Living, Midlife Foibles!|Tags: , |0 Comments

Our First Real Vacation With the Twins

 

DeAnna Scott and twins at the beachOur annual vacation for the past 11 years has not changed. My husband and I, and now with our 14 month old twins, spend our annual 10 day vacation with family and friends on Hatteras Island North Carolina.   The trip is something we look forward to and plan extensively for, every year.

Although it is a sweet, tender time of reunion with our East Coast family, this year seemed to have more than its share of trouble. To be brutally honest, not at all what I would consider a vacation in the restful sense of the word.

Since the twins were 14 months old, I felt I had to be uber-prepared. For weeks I had been making lists of everything we might need for traveling, playing, eating, sleeping and swimming:  lists which included entries for items such as portable high- chairs, bathing suits, clothes, sunscreen, pool toys, regular toys, sleeping arrangements, diapers, wipes, diaper cream, snacks, car seats, to name just a few.  [Read More…]

What To Do If Your Teen Has An Eating Disorder (Part III)

99 tips

Natalie is 16 years old, a straight-A student. She is looking into colleges and excited about leaving home. Six months ago, she began dieting: “I want to look good when I go to college and for the prom.” Natalie loses weight and at first, she seems happy. “I feel so grown up with my new clothes,” she beams!

One day, her boyfriend negatively comments on the looks of a girlfriend saying to Natalie, “ I hope you don’t gain the freshman 15.”  Natalie freezes inside and reaffirms her efforts not to ever gain weight … by vowing to pursue dieting as it consumes her entire day. [Read More…]

Would You Do It Again?

Would you do it again“Would you do it again?” What kind of a question is that? She’s my daughter! What do you mean, “Would I do it again?”

If you rushed into a burning building to rescue some of your children, and one of them was horrifically damaged before you got to her, you would still drag her out. You would do it even if you got hurt, yourself. You would do it even if she cried to be left behind because her pain was too great. As a parent, you would drag her out, against her will, kicking and screaming.

Then you would get her help. It would be the best help money could buy. You would spare nothing to help her mentally, emotionally and physically. [Read More…]

10 Ways to Build Lifelong Bonds With Your Children

LittleThings_frontcoverAdapted from Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day by Susan Newman, Ph.D.

Life swirls at a hectic pace in most families today. That reality places a high premium on finding family time. But, small parcels of time well spent shape long-lasting memories that are the backbone of family unity…and the glue that holds families together.

In our digital age, it is time to go back to basics. [Read More…]

7 Steps for Getting Through the Adoption Process

adoptionI can’t count how many times I have cried for the child I have waited two years to adopt. This is the child I am afraid to meet because once I see and hold him, I will not be able to forget his place in my arms, or be able to ever let him go.

Seeing updated photos of him creates intense joy and grief as his changed face reminds me of the passing of time. Some days, the only way to keep my head above my emotions longing for him is to put him to the back of my mind. But the endless list of unknowns- wondering who he’ll be when he is in our family and what he might be doing right now takes over, and I break. [Read More…]

Walk the Walk: Five Advocacy Tips for Navigating the Path to Motherhood

pathOne afternoon I took a walk at a beautiful lake surrounded by woods with a main paved path and smaller trails through the woods. I decided to take a wooded trail, but as I moved further from the main path, the trail became less clear. I was afraid of getting lost in the woods. When I looked around me, I realized that some of the trees had blue paint marks on them.

Every few feet stood a tree with another blue mark. By following the marks, I was able to follow the trail through the woods to the main path as it circled around the lake. When I got to the main path again, I wasn’t sure which direction to walk to get back to my car. Luckily, another walker was passing by who pointed me in the right direction. If I had gotten lost, the walk could have been a disaster, but because I had signs to guide me and people to help me when I needed help, it was a wonderful experience. But, it wasn’t only the signs and the fellow walker that made the difference. I used my skills and I wasn’t afraid to ask the fellow traveler for help. I advocated for myself, and I felt confident and positive after my walk.

Navigating your way towards motherhood is a lot like that walk. You are entering unfamiliar territory, and you will have to find your way through. Whether you pursue motherhood the “old fashioned” way, or through assisted reproductive technology, adoption, surrogacy, or some other method, the steps to making informed decisions and to advocating for your needs throughout the process are remarkably [Read More…]

Don’t Go it Alone (The Creation of Project Bond – For Adoptive Families)

Project BondIf your child has challenging behavior, where do you turn?  Typically, we look to professionals at school or in the community.  You might start with an evaluation, enroll your child in a program, or even qualify for in-home services, depending upon where you live.

But, what happens when the professionals don’t help?  When they think they know what to do, but are actually making things worse?  What if what works for some kids doesn’t work for yours?

That’s what Barbara and I asked ourselves.  Every day.  For four years. [Read More…]

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