Rosemary Lichtman Archives - Mothering in the Middle

How “Awe” Trumps Awful During Summer

by Rosemary Lichtman Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg Ph.D.

Visiting the Grand Canyon may be one of the most “awe-full” places on earth. The sense of grandeur that radiates there during the day is nearly matched by the millions of stars that light up the otherwise black nights. It can provide a respite from truly awful news in the world.

But, amidst any stress you may be facing, are you looking for other, easier ways to center yourself and regain your equilibrium? Stuck home during the summer, but still need fun and relief?

Here are 5 easy things you can turn to when seeking serenity:

Nature. If you can’t squeeze in a quick trip to the Grand Canyon or another National Park, check out your local sunrise or sunset. These scenes can be spectacular this time of year and the quiet is settling. Leaves changing color provide a backdrop of scarlet beauty with a hint of the soundless carpet of snow coming soon. The rhythm of the ocean or starkness of the desert provides its own sense of wonder. […]

Mother’s Day: Five Tips to Caring for a Mom Who Never Really Took Care of You

By Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Are you dreading Mother’s Day again this year and worrying about what to do for your mom? Perhaps you have never been close or are now estranged and feeling angry. Have you cut the mother-daughter ties and ignore the day, but remain resentful and sad? Or do you pretend everything is OK and give her a gift anyway?

Even though the media lead us to believe that all mothers deserve flowers and chocolates, if you don’t have a good relationship, this ‘special’ day can be agonizing. […]

Smile and Be Happier

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D., and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D

This year, March 20^this the first day of spring. And if that’s not enough to please you, the third annual International Day of Happiness falls on the same day. The United Nations General Assembly made it official by recognizing wellbeing as a fundamental right of people throughout the world.

Remember when Grammy Award winning musician Pharrell Williams teamed up with the UN Foundation to put some synergy in motion? The focus of the online happening was his infectious song “Happy.” You can watch funky videos from all over the world or listen to a jazz rendition.

[…]

Have the Winter Blues? 8 Tips for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D., and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

Winter weather is often cold, dark and dreary – with little chance of a break for months. The transition back from the holiday season with its increased activity and social engagement – parties, gift giving, family time, vacations – can be an emotional letdown, bringing on the January blues. For 10% of Americans, this is exacerbated by “SAD,” Seasonal Affective Disorder, triggered by the brain’s response to the reduction in sunlight.

“Sandwiched Boomers” may feel an even greater strain, with extra pressures of caring for growing children and aging parents. If you think you might have SAD, consult your physician for an evaluation. A diagnosis can be made when your mood, energy level and motivation are all down during the winter months. You may be sleeping and eating more than usual, craving carbohydrates – this can lead to weight gain, which is depressing in itself. […]

Millennials and the Holiday Spirit

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Although it may be the holiday season, as far as presents go that doesn’t mean a whole lot to Millennials. Like so many other issues, they have their own ideas about gift giving. Apparently what they want is cash, mostly to pay down college costs and other debt.

So much for the negative stereotype that those born between 1980 and 2000 are lazy and have a sense of entitlement. Millennials are laboring under a collective $1 trillion in debt from student loans and still struggling to find jobs. Yet a survey of 6,500 members of the so-called ‘Me Generation’ indicates that last year well over half of them made donations to charitable causes and volunteered their time. […]

Ten Tips for Keeping Peace in the Family during the Holidays

By Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Media images of the holidays are often exaggerated and, before you know it, you’re trying to conform to unrealistic ideals. Combined with the added pressures and demands on your time, this can lead to overload. Just remember that nothing is perfect.

Now that the holiday season is swiftly approaching, you may be wondering if your dysfunctional family dynamics will surface as soon as you get together. Are you worried that your mother’s inquisitive nature will scare off the first girlfriend your son’s had in years? Or that your mother-in-law will think less of you because you didn’t ask her to bring the dessert? […]

8 Tips For Boomer Women To Better Enjoy Their Friendships

by Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. and Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D.

We can say without a doubt that intimate friendships have always been important to women. But have you noticed that they’ve become even more so as you face the transitions of children growing up and parents growing older?

Findings from a recent MacArthur Foundation Study indicate that the emotional security and social support that these relationships provide for women have been a survival strategy for them in adversity. In fact, friendship is one of the keys to a long and more satisfying life. […]

Care-giving 101: Boomers Beware

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Courtesy caregiver.org

What an unfortunate end to a terrific week at the lake, with all our kids and grandsons, celebrating our patriarch’s birthday. During one final swim, my husband slipped on the dock, had to have surgery on a fracture through the knee joint and is now only 10 days into an 8-12 week stint of no weight bearing. And yes, living in a 2^nd floor walk-up, we’re both counting!

When life moves along as usual we tend to feel bad for those who are injured by trauma and their caretakers but don’t really give much thought to the challenges they’re facing. As with so many other circumstances, it’s only through experience that we really know how it feels. […]

Isn’t Sibling Rivalry Normal?

by Phyllis Goldberg Ph.D., and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Sibling rivalry is normal. Fights between sisters and brothers are so common that they’re often dismissed as just part of growing up. But a recent study from the University of New Hampshire finds that sibling aggression is associated with increased depression and anxiety in children.

Although physical and emotional aggression by peers is generally thought to be more serious than by siblings, the present findings showed no independent effects. That is, the results of those experiencing persistent and unmonitored aggression, whether from siblings or peers, did not differ. […]

GEMS for Working Moms

by Phyllis Goldberg, Ph.D. and Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

Is your life an endless cycle, revolving around work and taking care of the kids? If so, you’re not alone. In a recent study by the Families and Work Institute, ½ of American women say they don’t have enough time to spend on themselves and for the activities they enjoy. We all know that saying ‘yes’ to more responsibility can make us feel safer with the boss and help us avoid conflict in the family. But too often ‘yes’ is our default mode with just about everything. […]