My Mystical Journey to Midlife Motherhood

by Laura Jane Murphy

I have always felt there was a mystical path for my becoming a mother. It took longer and was more challenging than I could have wanted or expected. Through it all, I never doubted in my conviction that my destiny was to be a “mom.”

Life is a scavenger hunt and there are clues presented through following the vibration of the heart. Reason has nothing to do with Love.

Today, at 60, I am the proud mother of a young teenage daughter embarking on her future. I dislike labels, so I consider myself a late bloomer – not an “older mom.”

Yet, I also find myself in a tough place of introspection, realizing my years ahead will be less than the ones gone by in my “rear view mirror.” For the last few years, I am no longer someone’s daughter – I said goodbye to that sweet role with the death of both my parents. […]

Walk the Walk: Five Advocacy Tips for Navigating the Path to Motherhood

by Michal Klau-Stevens

One afternoon I took a walk at a beautiful lake surrounded by woods with a main paved path and smaller trails through the woods. I decided to take a wooded trail, but as I moved further from the main path, the trail became less clear. I was afraid of getting lost in the woods. When I looked around me, I realized that some of the trees had blue paint marks on them.

Every few feet stood a tree with another blue mark. By following the marks, I was able to follow the trail through the woods to the main path as it circled around the lake. When I got to the main path again, I wasn’t sure which direction to walk to get back to my car. Luckily, another walker was passing by who pointed me in the right direction. If I had gotten lost, the walk could have been a disaster, but because I had signs to guide me and people to help me when I needed help, it was a wonderful experience. But, it wasn’t only the signs and the fellow walker that made the difference. I used my skills and I wasn’t afraid to ask the fellow traveler for help. I advocated for myself, and I felt confident and positive after my walk.

Navigating your way towards motherhood is a lot like that walk. You are entering unfamiliar territory, and you will have to find your way through. Whether you pursue motherhood the “old fashioned” way, or through assisted reproductive technology, adoption, surrogacy, or some other method, the steps to making informed decisions […]

Mothering Thoughts From Some Midlife Mothers…..(In Celebration of Mother’s Day)

“Truly, in many ways, my (adult) life began with the arrival of my children. As the days move forward, I beam with joy at their growth and my seemingly endless amount of love for them. I love to be a mother and experience the various stages of their lives. Mom after mom has shared the joy they feel when they hear the words “Mom” uttered, and recognize that it’s meant for them. In this case, it’s meant for me, too!”

“As the parent of a special needs child, I wish for my child to live a happy long life and for me to live one day more…”

“The books, blogs, notes…..friends who mean well don’t tell you to what depth your Heart will break wide open with Love and Gratitude when you hold your precious one to your Own Heart in the quiet mornings before the day begins. This “Grand Adventure” knocks my socks off and often my child’s, too! My heart reforms with each sigh, challenge and growth spurt…and we are only 15 months in!”

“All I gotta say is that it is a good thing I have one child who writes me notes like “You are the BMITW” (translation: best mom in the world) because the other two just seem to have forgotten that.”

“But, the luckiest part is motherhood, of course. If we’re lucky, we get to be mothers.”

“The average life expectancy for women in the U.S. is anywhere from 73.5 to 86 years of age. As the 48-year-old mother of a three-year-old, if I kick when I am 73.5, I’m going to be pissed.”

“I most definitely enjoy the extra special love and treatment on […]

Mom On Demand

by Lori Pelikan Strobel

I am standing at my new desk, a desk that can be raised to a standing height or lowered to a sitting height. I love it! The room that this desk stands in is my office. It has been in a bit of transformation lately; just like my life. The walls are painted the softest of green. A small but dazzling crystal chandelier light hangs from the center of the room. It is pleasant here alone with my own thoughts.

Suddenly I hear the garage door open and footsteps. “Mom, I’m home!” yells my daughter from the kitchen as she loudly drops her book bag, coat and whatnot that I envision in a trail on the floor. My peacefulness is broken by her voice and I am suddenly transported back ten years ago when she would come home from school with the same declaration. Although times have changed, things have a way of staying the same. I am still here whether or not she is. […]

Musings…

by Josie Iselin

EXPERT

A friend came over the other day with her one-year-old. She was struggling to feed her squirmy child and I instinctively held out an extra spoon for the little fist to grab.

“Every mother knows you need two spoons when feeding a one-year-old,” I thought. “One for baby, one for mom.”

But not everyone does know that simple rule. Hey, I’m an expert!

But an expert at a chapter of parenting that is past. I’m floundering to find the simple rules for where I am now and glimpsing what’s to come with awe and wary anticipation. I’ll only become an expert after that part of the story is wrapped up — like the year of photos neatly edited into an album and set on the shelf. (2006)

www.JosieIselin.com

Eating Crow (Or, How to Ingest the Reality of Getting Older)

by Valerie Gillies

“In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet” – Sir Winston Churchill

I have long fancied myself to be a natural woman. Having worn denim for a larger percentage of my days than all other fibers combined, never having changed the color of my hair, succeeding in four unmedicated childbirths (like it was some sort of contest), remembering with grimaced face the few times I have been peer-pressured into manicures. For over 50 years, I have run pretty much on my own steam, glorifying in how well this machine was holding up, how tough and independent I could be. Well, baby, it’s now time for me to take her in for the 50,000 mile checkup, and I’m not liking it. […]

Mother’s Day (Revisited II)

by Cyma Shapiro

I wrote this blog post a few years ago for MotherhoodLater, and reprinted it last year. This year, I’ve decided to run it again. In fact, I may make this an annual occasion. I’ve also decided to reprint the older photo of my stepson’s first real Mother’s Day present to me – flowers – as a backdrop for this – a reminder of how being a mother to my four children (in two generations) has truly made me happy and proud.

It’s amazing how one year can change things; how motherhood makes us forget what happened when our children were younger or youngest; how they came into our lives and what changes we needed to make once they were here. I can honestly say that I am nearly fully comfortable in my Motherhood-clothes, a role that I played well in the beginning, but one that I now don each day with ease in the same way that I donned singlehood for many, many years. I won’t say that there aren’t days I wish I could wake up, yawn, and go down for coffee all on my own time, my own rhythm. I will say, however, that I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been – now that I have children. […]

Lucky Doubles (A Commentary)

by Karen Hug-Nagy

Well, I’m ten years into this midlife mothering experience, and at 55, I’m still learning how to become a Mom. I begged the fertility gods for one child and I hit the jackpot, twins! I thought the infertility rollercoaster was complicated. Parenting two is more like trying to keep up with mini-rockets on a mission. […]

Just A Number

by Peg O'Neill, M.D.

They say that age is just a number, but I’m not so sure. Try telling this to my 10 year old son, or his five year old (excuse me, five and a HALF) year old brother. Or to the almost sixteen year old in my office the other day who was counting the hours until her birthday, when she could get her learner’s permit. When you are young, getting older is a good thing. Your age determines whether you are “big enough” to get certain privileges, like biking to school on your own, or being able to drive, or staying up late to watch the Red Sox game. You have to be old enough. The older you are, the more you get to do. The older you are, the more you are in charge. Old is cool, when you’re young. […]

53

by Valerie Gillies

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved on stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.” Pericles

This birthday got to me. It’s never those clean, easy numbers, like 30 or 50 that do it. Instead, odd ones sneak up on me, like 45, the age at which my mother died (subconsciously assuming I wouldn’t live past the exact number of days she had.) 21 meant nothing, but 28 meant I was really an adult. 53 hit hard. By the most optimistic estimates, I’m halfway through. […]