Father's Day Archives - Mothering in the Middle

The Art of Fatherhood

by Nancy LaMar-Rodgers

Dads on Duty

These days, it seems that dads have taken on a more prominent role when it comes to raising the kids. Dads are not just showing up at baseball or soccer games but are attending the parent/teacher conferences and sometimes even making the play date arrangements.

Where has this new sense of fatherhood stemmed from? What role reversal has evolved in the new millennium that has made it politically correct for men to even don the new fangled breast feeding devices that, up until a few years ago, that duty, by nature, was for moms only?

Old School Parenting

My own father was a child of The Great Depression. And, when I asked him once what his father did for a living, his response was, “whatever he could, kid.” His reply made me realize how many generations of fathers never had the luxury of truly participating in a child’s life. These dads of the early and mid part of the 20^th century, who racked up long hours and put in enough overtime as it took to afford the bicycle at Christmas time or new baseball glove. […]

The Forever Fatherhood of Fame (A Tribute to My Father)

by Lynn Reilly

If you were to meet my father in person, you would not call him trendy, ahead of the times, or progressive. He would not stand out in any way other than a warm, welcoming smile that makes you wonder what’s behind it. His classic Dockers, or jeans and white sneakers with a polo shirt would quickly categorize him as the conservative businessman he is. He is polite and friendly, but not overly friendly.

He is considerate, but likes things run his way. He acknowledges himself as unique, but really, he just blends into a crowd. You wouldn’t meet my father and know he raised two kids primarily on his own. You wouldn’t know the mother of his children spent the majority of their marriage in and out of treatment for a mental illness that disabled her on many levels.

You wouldn’t know when he finally left the marriage it was because the roller coaster had no end in sight and there was nothing left that he hadn’t tried to make it work. You also wouldn’t know the intense pain and regret he felt when the woman he vowed to love forever, eventually took her own life. […]

My Father’s Hand

by Judith Lee Herbert

I

I look up to see my father,
towering above me.
He takes my hand, and as we go
through the turnstile, I am excited
by my first ride with him on the subway. […]

The View from Scott’s Corner – Happy Father’s Day!

Mothering contributor DeAnna Scott, 48, is the mother of twins, Robert and Phoebe (born via a traditional surrogacy in June 2013). DeAnna is a p/t photographer and full-time mom. We will feature her work on a monthly basis.

A Letter To My Husband On Father’s Day

by Jo-Ann Rogan

Dear Elliott:

You declared for months, after our oldest Ryan was born, that you are a Dad, someone’s Dad! You came to parenting reluctantly, as you do so much in life. For my whole pregnancy, you would say over and over, I don’t get why people have kids and I am not sure I can do this. Now, over a decade in, I am here to say, you are an incredible father. […]

7 (Father’s Day) Tips for Honoring Fathers Not Living at Home

by Trish Ladogna and Rachel Ruby

Mothers are still more likely to get primary custody of children following divorce than fathers, leaving the majority of divorced fathers the “non-residential parents.” Fathers that, chances are, love their children very much and whose children love them, too.

Father’s Day can be particularly difficult for this set of dads whose contact with their children may be limited to every other weekend and/or summer vacations.

Unquestionably, fathers play an important part in their children’s lives, from birth through to adolescence, young adulthood and beyond. In recent years, there has been growing recognition of the significance of fathers, residential or otherwise, to families and to the behavioral, general health and well-being of their children’s life.

As Jeffrey Rosenberg and W. Bradford Wilcox found in their work, ‘The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children, children who experience an involved, caring father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings and, as they grow older, have better social connections and educational outcomes. […]

Dressing Daddy (That is, My Husband)

by Gina Broadbent

Twenty-eight years ago, the following were my husband’s five rules of fashion:

1. Beige is good; more beige is better, and a whole lot of beige is best – Most people identify red or green or even periwinkle as their favorite color. Not my husband, Jeff – he liked that nebulous not brown, not white shade of regurgitated oatmeal, known as beige. He liked it so much that in the pre-Gina era, 90% of his wardrobe was beige.

He had it all – beige golf shirts, beige (aka khaki) pants, beige sports jacket, even beige socks which he often wore simultaneously for an effect that what was, at best, underwhelming. There was an advantage (if one can call it that) to Jeff’s love affair with beige – his outfits never clashed. No danger of pink paired with red, no maroon mixed with orange. Only beige – bleak and boring beige. […]

The Difference Between Dad Privilege and Mom Privilege

by Adam Hall

Welcome to June! That time of year when we celebrate fathers and all of the things that they do to help out in the raising of their children. Although actually, “help out” makes it sound like they are not required to do any child raising and are strictly volunteering on a benevolent basis. “Hey, you didn’t have to do that! But thanks!”

This idea, that fathers are over-praised for doing the most basic of tasks (taking kids to the store, reading a bedtime story, living in the same house as the rest of the family), has led some to dismissively call out “Dad Privilege,” claiming that fathers have it much easier and don’t have to put in half the work mothers do to be deemed a success.

Let me be very clear. What you are thinking of as “Dad Privilege” has another name in the dad community. We call it “Mom Privilege.” […]

Father’s Day Always Sucked

by Theresa Turchin

Father’s Day is coming around again – the time of year that reminds me what a great dad my husband is (even though he drives me crazy sometimes with his overwhelming patience for our son, I just want to get stuff done and he takes his darn, sweet time)….anyway I’m off subject.

Father’s Day is also that time of year where I (you?) take a trip to the local drug store and stare blankly at cards that don’t relate to my relationship with my own dad.

“Thanks, Dad for always being there,” or, “He didn’t teach me how to live, he lived and let me watch him do it,” Or, “Dad, you held my hand and showed me the world.” I almost always end up wiping tears away.

It stinks, because I’m supposed to be over the fact that my dad wasn’t around much when I was growing up, and wasn’t there for me…. […]

A Shout Out To Dads Everywhere

by Melanie Elliott

Father’s Day is fast approaching. I’ve been thinking about the fathers of today – what fatherhood was like in the past and how dads have changed over the years. While thinking, my brain landed on the Showtime show Masters of Sex. It’s the story of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, and, of course, the study of sex.

Renowned gynecologist, William Masters, brilliantly portrayed by Michael Sheen, was so far removed from his child he couldn’t even change his diaper, pick up his crying child, or be there for his son in any way that provided emotional support, love or affection.

Now, this may be a dramatization (and a gross generalization), but there’s a part of me that thinks there’s some truth in this show as to how dads parented back in the late 1950s. Not all dads, but probably a large percentage of fathers. Parenting was for the wife and/or nanny (if you lived in an affluent home). […]