SAHMI became a mom at 45.  It wasn’t by design.  I met my husband at 35, married at 38, and we tried to start a family six months after we married.  To our surprise, that was no easy task.

After three invitros, two inseminations, a frozen embryo transfer and after mixing in four years of acupuncture, various shamans and healers, along with several miscarriages and a too-long process to adopt a baby from China, we finally became parents six ½ years later when we brought our son home from Ethiopia in August 2010.

I can honestly say I wouldn’t change a thing.  I am grateful it took as long as it did because I have the most wonderful, amazing, challenging, lively, energetic son, and I love, love, love him.

Melanie Elliott and family

We were fortunate to be in a position where one of us could stay at home.  We figured since it took so long to become parents, one of us should be there for all the firsts.  I had the lower paying job, and got the prize!

It will be four years that we’ve been a family and The Littlest E (for littlest Elliott) has been our son.  So, I’ve been a SAHM for a bit now, but I’ve got to say the transition from work force to home force was intense.  I had been working on and off for nearly 30 years and there I was – a (new) Mom to a year old baby!  No longer was I a legal assistant, but a full-time Mom.  It was a welcome big adjustment with a high learning curve.

I LOVED all the mom stuff – bonding, caring, changing diapers, feeding my little guy, and helping him learn and grow, though those first few months of getting used to each other and creating a schedule were filled with fear, anxiety, stress, and lots of tears to my husband.  Over time, that subsided.

What I found difficult to grasp was running the house, doing the chores, creating menus and cooking, cleaning, and paying bills.  When I gave myself a title, I rose to the occasion like I did at my previous jobs.  I am now the Executive Director of the Elliott Family Residence. And, I must say, it’s been absolutely rewarding.  Not a day goes by where I’m not grateful to have the chance to be The Littlest E’s mom and do what I do.  I’ve been there for those firsts – walking, talking, and for the injuries.  Being a mom is the greatest gift and the toughest job.

 EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that it’s important to keep a part of me that’s just for me.  I see moms and dads giving their “all” to their children and they have nothing left for themselves.  Many parents don’t have a problem with that, and that’s wonderful – no judgment at all on my part.  However, it’s not my path.  I seek balance, family time, personal time, and couple time.  It doesn’t always happen, but it’s always a goal.

Strawberry Picking 2014

The Littlest E starts pre-K in a couple of weeks and will be in school five days a week, which means more time for me.  I’d like to go back to work, whether part-time or full-time and contribute to our finances so that the burden doesn’t fall solely on my husband.  If a project I’ve been working on comes through, it could help many people. If that doesn’t happen, there will be a job out there for me somewhere.  I’m not too worried; the Universe has guided me well so far.  When the job thing happens, it’ll be another transition.

Until then, I’ll enjoy being a SAHM.

Melanie and sonMelanie Elliott, 50, is a mom, wife, producer, blogger, and the Executive Director of the Elliott Family Residence.  In her blog, Mom To The Littlest E (http://bit.ly/wjl4gp), Melanie writes about parenting and life as a transracial, international adoptive parent.  Before starting her own blog, she wrote for LIFEclectic online parenting magazine.  Melanie serves on the board of directors for Connect-A-Kid (www.connectakid.org), a nonprofit organization devoted to connecting every young adoptee with an adult adoptee mentor through their team mentorship program. 

Once upon a time, she acted with California Shakespeare Festival (SF Bay Area), Eclectic Company Theatre (NoHo), and was a founding member of Woman’s Will, San Francisco’s all-female Shakespeare company.  You can catch Melanie on Twitter tweeting @Mom2TLE. Littlest E is five years old.