Adapted from Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day by Susan Newman, Ph.D.
Life swirls at a hectic pace in most families today. That reality places a high premium on finding family time. But, small parcels of time well spent shape long-lasting memories that are the backbone of family unity…and the glue that holds families together.
In our digital age, it is time to go back to basics.
Here, 10 easy suggestions to bring you and your children closer:
Forget Perfection
Forgo attempts to make picture-perfect memories. Often mistakes or the unexpected are what children remember best. Mishaps can be hilarious and frequently make loving family memories. A recent Harvard study confirmed that mundane events are remembered the most fondly.
Establish Simple Rituals
Young children like routines even if they take only a few minutes because they create a sense of security. Rituals such as reading a book together nightly or having children set the table or help you prepare dinner provides a time to talk and allows children to feel as if they are contributing to family life.
Practice “I Love You” Daily
When time is short, delivery a hug and kiss and an “I love you.” It is a strong reminder to a child that you love him no matter what his age and that he is very important to you.
Cook Up Closeness
Cook something special together at least once a month — pancakes, cookies, muffins — recipes that call for simple preparation so young children can help. Then sit down and share what you made together.
Get in the Game
Select a board game and play it regularly; when appropriate, keep an ongoing score. For younger children promise a game of Chutes and Ladders or Candy Land; for older children Monopoly, basketball or Scrabble. Leave game boards or puzzles set up for the next round or to add puzzle pieces before or after dinner.
Master the Art of the Surprise
When your child least expects it, take him to the store and buy something he’s been longing to own. Or, surprise the family by announcing double desserts.
Instill Caring
Discuss causes you feel are worthwhile; focus on ones that children can relate to or help with. Older children generally have charity or volunteer ideas of their own. Ask them to explain why their favorites deserve support. The family’s choices are likely to remain a child’s preferred charities into his or her adulthood.
Be Proud
Every day ask your child what she did that day that she is proud of. Helped a friend? Did well in a game? Received a good grade? Brushed the dog? Share your daily “proud of” as well.
Show Off Talent
Whether or not you are raising future singing or playing sensations, hold impromptu talent shows at home for your children and their friends. Fun abounds in the midst of unrecognizable tunes banged out and sung enthusiastically and loudly. Give the youngest a spoon to keep the beat on a pot.
Practice Togetherness
You don’t always have to be doing something with your children. Just being home and in the same room is enough.
For hundreds of additional ideas, broken into convenient timeframes (a few minutes, half an hour, over the weekend, on holidays—big and small—see Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day.
Susan Newman is a social psychologist and parenting expert focusing on issues related to raising children and family relationships. She is a contributor to Psychology Today magazine where she has been writing about parenting for last 6+ years and is the author of 15 books on parenting and family concerns. Dr. Newman taught at Rutgers University, is a member of the American Psychological Association, the Authors Guild, and the American Society of Journalists and Authors. She is a Court-Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) for abused and neglected children and lives in the New York Metro area. She is the mother of one son and four stepchildren. Visit Susan’s website at: http://susannewmanphd.com